Destiny of the Last Wolf Page 14

  "It's fine," I say. "Thank you for... thanking me." I turn and walk away. Hurrying along the dark street, I have an urge to just get as far away from here as possible, to find somewhere I can just be myself without any of the distractions Hamish seems determined to visit upon me. I don't know why, but lately he seems to be trying to draw me out and force me to interact with humans. I don't like the way Hamish seems to be treating me as a 'project', as if there's something wrong with me. I appreciate his attention, but it's time to make him see that this human world isn't for me. I've tried spending time with humans in the past, and it's never really worked out. I'm more of a lone wolf these days.

  I head down towards a nearby park. Even in the heart of the city, it's sometimes possible to find a spot where you can be alone. The drunks of the city don't come here very often, so I'm able to walk through the trees and finally reach a spot where the river curls through the park. It's calming to be here, and it reminds me that I need to get out of London and never, ever come back. I don't know why any werewolf would ever want to be with humans: not only do they smell bad, but they're weak and boring. They find excitement in passing, temporary things, and they live uneventful lives that ultimately end in disappointment and irrelevance. Frankly, it's kind of insulting to think that a noble werewolf could have anything in common with a lowly human.

  Sure, Anna was attractive, and she seemed to have a little more spirit than the average human, but ultimately she was just another human. Even if she turned out to be the greatest, most brilliant human who's ever lived, she has a life span of barely sixty or seventy years. Why bother befriending a human, when they're just going to die eventually? I take a deep breath, enjoying this oasis of calm in the heart of the city. m,./But slowly, as I stare down at the water, I realize that something's wrong. Something's... different. Something's followed me.

  "Hey," says Anna, just as I realize she's standing right behind me.

  Jess

  Tonight.

  It's like the past two years didn't happen.

  I'm standing in an abandoned building close to Holborn in London. There's no electricity, but Sam has a few candles. Whatever this building used to be, it seems to have been left empty for a while. Poking around, I find what appears to have been a large office space, and there's a sign on the wall that advertises some kind of new technology company. I guess with the economy going the way it is, there are plenty of empty buildings like this. Sometimes you spend so much time looking at all the bright and shiny parts of the city, you don't notice the number of failures littering the landscape. Maybe parts of the city are starting to die, or maybe it's just that I've changed and I'm starting to see it for what it really is.

  Looking out the window, seeing the street below, it occurs to me that maybe all the stuff with Duncan was a dream. Maybe I just got knocked out and dreamed it all: Frank Marshall; Matt DiMera; the Underworld; General Chaucer; Black Annis; Meredith; the library... Maybe I just ate some bad cheese before I went to bed last night. But the truth is, I can feel my werewolf side deep inside my soul. It's there, waiting to burst out as soon as I let it. Sometimes, it feels like the werewolf side of me is completely separate, as if Duncan placed some kind of monster inside me. I'm not scared, though: it's this 'monster' that I'm hoping to set free, so that it can take over my body and help me stop thinking about the past. Duncan said that you have to dig up the past sometimes, but I don't think that's true at all: you have to forget the past, to bury it and leave it buried, if you want to move forward.

  "You alright?" Sam asks.

  I smile. I could turn into a wolf right now and scare her to death. Or maybe she'd just shrug and carry on with what she's doing? It's hard to tell with her. She seems world-weary, but at the same time I feel like she's putting on an act. Sure, she can handle herself on the streets of London, and that's pretty impressive; but could she handle herself in the face of someone like Thomas Lumic? It's so tempting to show her even a glimpse of the world I've experienced, so she can see that there are far, far worse things around than a bunch of dodgy guys in cafes.

  "Yeah," I say, turning and walking over to her. "I'm fine."

  "Ground rules," she says. "You can stay here for as long as you want, unless we both get kicked out. The only rules are you don't invite anyone back here, you don't even let them know about this place, okay? And the other thing is, we don't owe each other anything. We don't get attached. Some day soon, we'll probably end up running in different directions and then we'll never see each other again. So let's not get too close, okay?"

  "Okay," I say. Damn it, Sam's starting to remind me of Duncan a little.

  "And no fucking," she adds. "Don't get ideas. I don't do girls."

  "Me neither," I say.

  "And you can't bring guys back," she says. "You want to fuck some guy you meet out in the street, you fuck him where you find him, not here. And food! You don't eat any of my food, and I don't eat any of yours, okay? Unless one of us offers, which we won't." She pauses. "We're not best friends or anything, okay?"

  "I get it," I say, sighing. "We're just a couple of people who've bumped together for a short time, and we don't mean anything to each other, and it doesn't matter if we suddenly get separated because that's how things work."

  "Exactly," she says, looking a little surprised that I'm being so direct. "So... I'm gonna go and get something to eat. I'll get something for you, too. Just this one time, 'cause you haven't had a chance to get anything for yourself, okay?"

  "It's fine," I say. "I'll go and get something for myself."

  "Whatever," she says, turning and walking away.

  Left alone, I find it hard not to wonder about Duncan again. I'd like to think that I'd be able to sense it if he died, like I did last time he was in danger. When I walked away from him earlier tonight, I hoped that maybe I'd start to feel more free, but now I find that I'm desperate to know what happened. I don't want to be with him any more, not if he's going to be such an ass, but I still feel like I need to know whether he's alive or dead. Knowing Duncan, everything went terribly wrong until the last minute and then, finally, he pulled something out of the bag and defeated Lumic. I trust Duncan to always come out on top eventually, no matter how bad things might seem for a while.

  And then, standing there, I make a decision.

  I'm going to leave London right now. There's no point hanging around with Sam, wasting time in an abandoned office building, No, I need to get away from here. My plan was always to go to the wilderness again and spend my time as a wolf, so what the hell am I doing hanging around here? It's like I don't really want to get out of the city, or maybe I'm just delaying the moment when I finally leave Duncan and everything else behind. Taking a deep breath, I head through to the next room and find Sam sitting on the floor, eating... well, I'm not sure what it is, but it looks gross and I'm really glad I didn't take up her offer. I guess whatever it is, she got it from a dumpster.

  "I'm leaving," I say.

  She looks up at me. "Seriously?"

  "Seriously," I continue. "I'm... I don't even know why I'm here."

  "That was fast," she says, and it's impossible not to notice the hint of disappointment in her voice.

  I shrug. "There's no point in me being here. I've got places to go. I'll just get in your way. It's like you said: there's no need to get involved with anyone else. We're better off alone. All of us."

  "Fine," she says. "No need for a speech. If you're fucking off, fuck off."

  "Bye," I say, "and good luck." I turn and walk away, but as I get to the door, I suddenly realize that something's wrong. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there's a sense of... loss. It's hard to explain, but I'm starting to panic. I take deep breaths, trying to calm down, but slowly I come to understand what's happening. Something's leaving me. A sense of security, of safety. It's as if I've been looking up at the stars, and suddenly they all vanish and leave nothing but a black sky. I have this overwhelming feeling, as if I've just lost something.


  I steady myself against the door frame, hoping that the sensation will pass. It just gets stronger, though, and I feel like something terrible is happening. Someone, somewhere, is going through excruciating pain and torment. The feeling is so strong, I can't understand how the whole city doesn't feel it, but then I realize that I have a special connection to the person who's being hurt. I want to reach out and help, to stop this from happening, but I know that I can't do that. Finally, I let out a gasp of pain as a wave of realization washes over me. Something just happened. Far away, on the other side of London... I think Duncan just died.

  Duncan

  1975 - the Ducard Revoir Hotel, five miles south-east of Royan, France.

  The room is dark and silent. Though it's midday, the light of the Atlantic coast is almost entirely blocked out by the large, thick curtains that hang in front of the window, and the sound of the waves on the nearby beach has been completely blocked out. Everything is still, and calm.

  Slowly, Anna leans up and kisses me.

  It's a long, slow kiss, the kind that seems to exist outside of time itself. Her tongue slips into my mouth, and finally she pulls away and gasps as I push myself a little deeper inside her. She puts her arms around me, clinging on and pressing her face against my chest. We've been like this for almost an hour, on the edge of ecstasy, making love in silence. Finally, I move just enough to make her orgasm inevitable. She pulls me tight against her and I feel her whole body shudder as the orgasm jolts her. She doesn't make a noise, and finally she relaxes and falls back down onto the bed.

  Still, we don't speak. We just wait for something to break the atmosphere, for something to crash into us and remind us of our link back to the real world. Anna just looks up at me, her eyes wide open in the dark room. I lean down and kiss between her breasts, and she puts her hands on my head, running her fingers through my hair.

  "I want you to finish too," she says.

  I pause, not wanting to break the mood, but I know she wants me to experience the same pleasure that she felt, so I start gently making love to her again. She clasps me tight as I thrust harder and harder into her, and finally I tense and it happens. I lean down and kiss the nipple of her left breast.

  "What would happen," she asks slowly, "if I got pregnant?"

  I look at her. "That's not going to happen," I say.

  "But if I did," she replies, fixing me with an intense stare, "would it be like you, or would it be like me?"

  "I don't know," I say. "Let's just try to avoid that happening."

  She smiles. "If you want to avoid that happening, you're going the wrong way about it."

  "I don't even know if it's possible," I say. "I know we look similar, but we're very different species." I start to slip myself out of her, but she puts her hand on my ass and pushes me back in.

  "Wait," she whispers.

  "Why?" I ask.

  "I want to feel you a little longer."

  "I'm right here," I say.

  "I know," she replies, a little sadly. "I know."

  Lately, there's been something a little strange about Anna. For the past two and a half years, since I met her again at that party, we've traveled together and she's slowly shown me that humans can be trusted. I used to think of humans as aggressive, irrelevant creatures, and I hated being around them. Anna has shown me the error of my ways, and I now see that some humans have value. I guess I'm starting to open up, and I have Anna to thank for that.

  "What if you..." she starts to say, but then she pauses.

  "What if I what?" I ask.

  "What if you turned me into one of you?" she asks.

  "I'd never do that," I reply.

  "But if you did," she continues, "then what would happen? What's it like to be a wolf? What's it like to have that... powerful creature inside you, ready to come out at any moment."

  "It's both a blessing and a curse," I say.

  "And you won't let me experience it for myself?" she asks.

  "Never," I say. "The risks outweigh the benefits."

  "But I'd be able to live forever," she says. "I want that. I want to live and live and live." There are tears in her eyes now. "Won't you give me that?"

  I shake my head. "I'd never change a human into a werewolf. The responsibility would be too great. We're each born to our own species, our own fate, and we must make the best of our circumstances. Anything else would be... a travesty of the way the natural world works."

  "I see," she says.

  "Don't be sad," I continue. "Being human is a positive thing too. Don't think that being a werewolf is somehow much easier."

  "But you get to live," she says. "We humans have to grow old and die, and you don't have to face that at all."

  "We have to watch you grow old and die," I say. "I think we have a worse deal."

  She laughs. "So one day I'll be a little old lady, and you'll still be hot and young and free and brave?"

  "That's one way of looking at it," I say.

  She pulls me closer and whispers in my ear. "Change me," she says. "I want to live forever."

  I shake my head.

  "Please," she insists. "The thought of ever having to die, of having to grow old, terrifies me. You've been given a gift. Share it with me."

  "No," I say. "It's not right."

  "So you'll let me die?" she asks, her voice sounding cold.

  "I have a moral code," I say. "I have beliefs. In my view, it's wrong to take a human and turn her into a werewolf. Every creature has its life-cycle, even my kind. I'm not about to tamper with the order of the world."

  "You're cruel," she whispers.

  "I'm honest," I reply.

  "You don't love me," she says.

  "I do," I reply.

  "You do what?" she asks.

  "I love you," I say, as if it's the most obvious and easy thing in the world. Moments later, I realize that what I've said is far more important than I intended.

  "Then change me," she says. "Make it so that I can be with you forever."

  "Stop asking me," I reply.

  "Do you want me to die?" she asks. "Is that it? Do you like the idea that no matter how committed you are to me, one day I'll get old and die?"

  "No," I say, though perhaps there's some truth in what she says. It's so easy for me to commit to her, because I know that my commitment will only be for the rest of her life. I can't imagine what it would be like if I knew I had to spend eternity with her.

  "Change me," she whispers again, "and then I'll go away. I'll leave you alone forever. Just give me eternal life, and let me go." There's a pause, and suddenly I realize she's crying. "I'm sorry," she sobs, tears streaming down her face, "but I don't want to die. Not ever."

  For a moment, it occurs to me that perhaps I could relax my moral position. I could change her, make her a werewolf. After all, although I've long been against the idea, I've never seen it actually happen. Isn't it possible that I'm wrong? And Anna is such a strong, intelligent person, perhaps she could manage to straddle the two worlds successfully? But even though these thoughts are tempting, I soon realize that I'm being guided by love and lust. I need to calm down and remember that although Anna is many things, she can never be a werewolf. She's human, and she must remain human until the day she dies.

  "It's okay," she says eventually, her voice sounding flat and deflated. "I understand. You can't."

  "I'm sorry," I say quietly.

  "Don't be sorry," she replies. "You have your morals. You believe it's wrong. I can't ask you to go against the things you believe." She pauses. "I need go to the bathroom," she says eventually.

  I roll over to the other side of the bed and she goes through to the small en-suite bathroom attached to our room. Unusually, she locks the door behind her, leaving me in the bed to wonder whether I just made a huge mistake. Over the past few years, I've opened up so much to Anna, and allowed her to know so much about me. Couldn't I have just taken one further step towards letting her into my life, by giving her the chance to live
forever? The sad truth is: one of the things I like the most about Anna is her fragility. That, and the fact that no matter how much I love her and how strongly I commit to her, she'll be dead in less than a century. That's the only type of love I can contemplate. The thought of eternal, ever-lasting love terrifies me.

  Jess

  Tonight.

  "I have to go!" I say, feeling a cold chill run through my body. It's as if Duncan's consciousness just vanished from the world. This has happened once before, back when I'd only known him for a short time. But on that occasion, there'd been a spark of him left, a feeling that perhaps there was a way back. This time, he's just gone. It's as if someone has just snuffed him out completely... as if he's really dead this time.

  "Where?" Sam asks, following me as I head towards the stairs. "Don't get me wrong, Jess, but something about you isn't right."

  "You wouldn't understand," I say. I run down the stairs and across the ground floor, towards the door, with Sam right behind me. I turn to her. "Can you just let me go?" I say. "Please?"

  "Let me come with you," she says. Suddenly she doesn't seem as caustic as she seemed before. She seems almost desperate to stay with me, as if she thinks I can give her things she can't get anywhere else.

  "It's too dangerous," I say.

  "I like dangerous," she replies, her eyes lit up.

  "Different kind of dangerous," I say, switching into my wolf form right in front of her. She takes one look at me, turns, and runs back upstairs. That's good. The last thing I need is her following me. I wouldn't want to become her Duncan, luring her into dangerous situations all the time, maybe eventually turning her into a werewolf. I had a friend called Sam once, and she died. At least Sam 2 has survived.

  I head out into the streets. Whatever's happened to Duncan, I have to find out for certain. I race between the buildings, heading back towards the tunnel where I last saw him. As the city bustles to its own rhythm, I'm running across Hungerford Bridge. All around me, people are still having fun, partying the night away. What would they think if they knew that there were creatures like me out there, in the night? What would they think if they knew there was this whole other world, hidden from them?