The Death of Addie Gray Read online

  I shake my head, but the cop is already close and Jesophat has begun to wind down the window on his side, with the rifle resting on his lap and aiming out the car.

  Stopping, the cop leans down and smiles at us.

  “Morning, guys. I just noticed your -”

  Before he can finish, the rifle fires and the cop slumps back out of view.

  I scream as I pull back, but Jesophat simply sits calm in his seat and stares straight ahead as smoke curls through the air. I wait, but there's no sign of the cop now, other than the lights of his patrol car still flashing behind us. Everything's silent again.

  “Did you...” I swallow hard, waiting for Jesophat to do or say something. “Did you... Is he...”

  Suddenly, Jesophat turns and leans out the window, looking down at the tarmac. He pauses for a moment, before turning to me and then tossing the rifle onto the back seat.

  “I reckon that's sorted,” he mutters, already starting the engine again. He pauses for a moment, clearly lost in thought. “There's something to be said for keeping things local, though,” he adds finally. “We need money. Just enough to get us a couple of states away. I was thinking to get some once we're way gone on the road, but I reckon it'd be better to confine all of that stuff to one locality, if you know what I mean.” He turns to me. “Do you know that store at the edge of town? The one run by that dumb old couple of church-going assholes?”

  “You mean Mr. and Mrs. Donovan?” I ask. “They're good people, Jesophat. Every time I've been in their store, they've been real nice to me.”

  “They probably keep a hundred dollars or so hanging around, right?”

  “We can't rob a store,” I tell him. “Jesophat, please, let's just get out of here! We need to leave the state, and then we can start looking for somewhere to -”

  “We don't have any money!” he yells. “What the hell do you think we're gonna do without money? Be sensible, woman!”

  “We can get jobs,” I reply, shocked by his anger. “We can -”

  Before I can get another word out, he grabs me by the throat and slams me back against the window, squeezing tight.

  “I'm talking about right now!” he sneers, leaning closer. “It takes time to find a job, and to get paid! We need money right this goddamn moment, Serriah! I'm assuming you wanna eat today, don't you?”

  Reaching up, I try to get his hand off my throat, but he's holding me too tight.

  “You're smart,” he continues, “but I'm smart too, in a different way, and I think I'm better placed to know what we need to do right now.” He pauses, before finally letting go and slumping back in his seat. “I'm gonna get us out of here, but first we need to get some goddamn money. That store's gonna be the easiest target, and those two old fools'll hand over every cent without a fight. You've just gotta trust me on this. I know what I'm doing.”

  I wait for him to continue, but after a moment he simply floors the throttle and the truck starts bouncing along the road. Glancing over my shoulder, I see the dead cop on the ground with a large patch of blood sprayed all the way to the other side of the road.

  “Did you kill all of them?” I ask, turning to Jesophat. “Your family, I mean.”

  “I had to.”

  “So there was an argument?”

  “Something like that. I got mad. Madder than before.” He sniffs. “It'd been building for a while.”

  I pause, before leaning over and kissing his shoulder. “We'll make our own family,” I tell him. “We'll go far away and start again. Just you and me. They won't ever catch us, will they?”

  “Not if you shut up and do things my way.”

  ***

  “Every cent!” Jesophat yells at the old man, with the rifle aimed at his head. “Try to cheat us, and I swear to God I'll blow your fucking head off!”

  “Just hold up!” the man says, with his hands in the air as he edges toward the register. “I'll give you the money. You don't have to hurt anyone!”

  Jesophat turns and aims at the old woman for a moment. She flinches, but he quickly turns the rifle back toward the man.

  “One wrong move,” he says firmly, “and you're both dead!”

  “I know,” the old man stammers, opening the register. “We won't give you any trouble.”

  “I'm sorry about this,” I tell the old woman as she backs away a little further. “We're not bad people, I promise. We just need a little money so we can get started.”

  “You're the Sansome girl, aren't you?” she replies, her voice trembling with fear. “I've seen you before.”

  “Serriah,” I say with a smile. “That's right. I've been in here a few times to pick up groceries. It's a real nice place you've got here.”

  “Shut up!” Jesophat hisses.

  “Sorry,” I mutter, watching as the old man starts putting cash into a cloth bag.

  “How much you got in there?” Jesophat asks him.

  “I don't rightly know,” he replies. He's so nervous, his hands are shaking. “Two hundred, maybe.”

  “That's a start,” Jesophat mutters. “Sure you don't have any more in the back?”

  “No, Sir. It's all in here.”

  “You'd better not be lying to me, boy,” Jesophat tells him. “And you'd better not have a gun hidden away in that register, 'cause I promise you one goddamn thing, I'm faster on a trigger than you could ever be.”

  “No, Sir. Absolutely not, no gun here.”

  “We're good people,” I stammer, turning to the woman again and seeing the fear in her eyes. “We're gonna do right, I swear. We're not thieves or murderers, we're just having to -”

  “Shut up!” Jesophat shouts, shoving me against the wall while keeping the rifle aimed at the old man, who's still putting money into the bag. “They don't need our goddamn life story, okay? They just need to move faster!”

  “I'm almost done,” the old man replies. “Please, don't get angry. I have arthritis and -”

  “I don't need to know that,” Jesophat mutters. “Just put the -”

  Suddenly a shot rings out, followed quickly by three more, and Jesophat falls back. His rifle fires, hitting the ceiling, but I turn just in time to see the old woman aiming at me with a revolver in her trembling hand. She fires a couple more times, but I duck out of the way and she misses, hitting the nearby shelves instead.

  “Get 'em!” the old man shouts. “It's self defense! Get 'em both!”

  Looking up, I see the old woman leaning over the counter to get a better aim. Instinctively I reach up and grab the gun, quickly wrestling it from her hand and then racing over to Jesophat.

  “Get the other one!” the old man yells. “Get the other gun! It's still loaded!”

  Seeing two bloody wounds on Jesophat's chest, I feel a cold shiver pass through my body as I realize he's been shot. I look at his face, but he's simply staring at me with an expression of pure shock, as if he never believed something like this could happen.

  “It's okay,” I tell him, grabbing his hands. “You'll be fine, it's not serious.”

  I start dragging him to the door, but I stop when I see a thick trail of smeared blood on the floor. Pausing for a moment, I realize I have to keep going, so I drag him out onto the sidewalk and over to the truck. The effort is almost too much, but I just about manage to get him into the passenger seat, while making sure not to look back at all the blood he's already lost.

  In the distance, a couple of voices are shouting. I scramble over Jesophat and into the driver's seat, before pulling the door shut and then starting the engine. As I floor the throttle, I realize I left the rifle inside the store, but a few people are running this way now and I figure I just have to get us out of here, so I keep my eyes fixed on the road ahead while I try to work out where to go. We can't risk a hospital, I know that, but when I look over at Jesophat I see that he's still slumped on the seat, with blood flowing from his wounds.

  “You're gonna be okay,” I stammer, hoping against hope that he can hear me. “I promise, you're gonn
a be fine. It's just a couple of flesh wounds, that's all. She didn't hit anything vital, and we -”

  Suddenly I realize that it wasn't just the rifle I left behind. I didn't even manage to grab the bag of money, either.

  “We'll be good,” I continue, as the truck speeds out of town. “I'll heal you right up, and then we'll get far away from here. I promise, Jesophat. We'll be together forever, no matter what it takes.”

  Serriah

  “It hurts,” he stammers, as I help him into the barn. “I'm so cold...”

  “You're gonna be okay!” I tell him for what must be the hundredth time, while struggling to keep him up. “You're gonna be just -”

  Letting out a gasp, I stumble and fall to my knees, and in the process Jesophat slumps forward, hitting the ground hard and grunting.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, crawling over to him. “Did I hurt you?”

  I wait, but his eyes are closed.

  “Say something,” I continue, nudging his arm. I know I mustn't panic, I know I have to keep my head together so I can come up with a plan, but at the same time I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do next. Maybe if Jesophat wakes up, I can get him to come up with an idea. I always thought I was good at plans, but now I'm not so sure. “Please, let me know you can hear me...”

  Stopping for a moment, I see that his body has left a trail of blood running all the way out to the truck. I don't know how much blood he lost, exactly, but it must be a lot. Then again, humans have a lot of blood in them, so I figure he must have some spare still. Swallowing hard, I look at his belly and chest, where the bullets hit him, and then I look at his face and see that his eyes are still closed.

  “Wake up!” I hiss. “Did I hurt you when I fell? Jesophat, wake up right now!”

  When he doesn't respond, I drag him further into the barn until finally I drop him against the dirty concrete floor. Letting out a gasp, I hurry around him and drop to my knees, quickly checking his pulse.

  “You're so cold,” I stammer, with fear in my eyes. “Jesophat, can you hear me? Jesophat, that old woman shot you, but you're gonna be okay. I'm sorry, I didn't see she had a gun. I got it off her before she could hurt you again, but the old bastards...”

  My voice trails off for a moment, as I relive that awful moment.

  “That's what they are,” I continue, filled with a rising sense of anger. “They're bastards. I thought they were good people, but that woman shot you like you were cattle, and for what? A few dollars they could easily afford? I felt sorry for them at first, but not now. Hell, I oughta go back there and finish the pair of them off!”

  I pause for a moment, remembering Mrs. Donovan's eyes, and finally I let out a brief, furious screams of frustration.

  “God damn them!” I shout. “God make them burn in hell for what they did!”

  Looking down at Jesophat's chest, I see nothing but a swampy mess of blood, with the fabric of his shirt torn all around. I reach out with a trembling hand, before realizing that I don't have a clue how to help him. For a moment, it occurs to me that maybe I should try digging the bullets out, but then I figure that I'd just end up causing more damage. I've dressed plenty of little cuts and scrapes on the farm over the years, but never anything like this. I should know what to do, I should be able to help him, but I don't. I never had a mother to teach me these things. Instead, all I can do is turn to his face and nudge his cheek, hoping to wake him.

  “Do you hear me in there, Jesophat?” I ask. “Please...”

  I wait.

  In the distance, police sirens can be heard.

  “They're looking for us,” I stammer. “People saw us leaving that store. They probably know who we are by now.” For a moment, I feel completely helpless, as if we're trapped with no way out. “There has to be something I can do,” I continue. “I've never... There's always a way. There's always something you can do to save yourself, if you just think of it. You just have to be smart, you have to...”

  I pause, trying to come up with something.

  “We can still fight,” I say finally. “We can still get away.”

  “I don't...” he whispers.

  “You don't what?” I ask, my heart leaping at the sound of his voice.

  “I don't... wanna... live in this world no more...”

  “Of course you do,” I tell him, forcing a smile. “Things have been bad lately, but wait and see, it's gonna -”

  “I don't wanna...” he gasps. “I don't... wanna live in this miserable, painful... fucking... shit-hole of a...”

  His voice trails off.

  “That's just the hurt talking,” I tell him. “You and me, we're gonna get ourselves a house far from here one day, with a white picket fence and -”

  “Fuck!” he hisses through gritted teeth. “Just shut the hell up, you... dumb whore...”

  “No, Jesophat,” I reply, with tears in my eyes, “you don't mean that.”

  “You're just a...” He lets out a slow, pained gasp, as if something's rattling at the back of his throat. “You're not even that... pretty...”

  “Jesophat...”

  “Get the fuck away from me,” he whispers, his voice seeming quieter and quieter now. “I wanna die alone... I wanna slip into... nothing... I want nothing on the other side...”

  “But there's something,” I tell him. “I know there is.”

  “You don't know shit,” he gasps.

  “There's something, I promise you!”

  He groans again.

  “Jesophat, you're delirious,” I say after a moment. “Remember how we used to talk? Remember how we'd talk about the future, about all the things we were gonna do? I know you meant it, Jesophat. I know you did. The pain right now, it's making you say delirious stuff, but I know you want what I want.” I pause, waiting for a reply. “And we're gonna get it, too. Somehow. You'll see.”

  Suddenly I realize I can hear the sound of someone weeping. I look around, but there's no sign of anyone else in the barn with us. The sound has already faded, but I can't help thinking back to the sight of my mother's ghost.

  “She didn't find a way,” I whisper, with tears in my eyes. “She died a painful, messy death and...”

  My voice trails off for a moment.

  “I know you can hear me,” I continue, taking Jesophat's bloodied hands in mine as tears stream down my face. “God wouldn't let you be taken away from me, not now. Not after everything we did. We're free, Jesophat! Don't you understand? We're free, and if you can just get up and keep going, we can run away. They won't be able to find us.” I pause as the sirens get further and further away. “Hear that?” I ask with a smile. “They're going the wrong direction. This is our chance. Promise me you'll wake up and we'll get out of here. Promise me, Jesophat.”

  After a moment, I link my pinky finger with his, hoping against hope that I'll be able to bring him back to me.

  Checking his pulse again, I find that his heart is barely beating. For a few seconds, I keep our pinkies interlocked, but finally I realize that he hasn't shown any sign of a response.

  “You can hear me,” I tell him. “I know you can.”

  Silence.

  “You can't leave,” I continue, leaning closer and breathing his scent deep into my lungs. “What am I gonna do without you? You can't go away just when we escaped from our families. It's not fair!”

  I kiss the side of his face, before resting my head against his chest and listening to the faint, irregular stirrings of his dying heart.

  “You're not gonna die,” I whimper. “I won't let you. There has to be a way for us to be together again.”

  I pause as I hear the sirens coming closer again. A moment later, I realize I can hear the sobbing once more, although it fades as soon as I really notice it.

  “I love you,” I continue, still listening to his heart as the beats slow, “and you love me. And that's all that matters. That's all God needs to know. Sure, maybe we had to do some bad things to be together, but God, he doesn't care about yo
ur parents or mine. God only cares about the special people, like you and me. God only cares about people who are truly in love.”

  Again, I pause.

  His heartbeat is almost gone now, although I still hear occasional faint thumps as he continues to slip away.

  “God will not separate us,” I say again, through gritted teeth, staring along Jesophat's chest and toward the underside of his stubbly chin. “God wouldn't put us through all of this, only to tear us apart now. I believe... No, I know he's gonna give us a way to move forward. He's watching us right now, Jesophat, but you have to hold on and feel his warmth.”

  I wait, as the sirens begin to fade again.

  “You just have to not die,” I sob.

  After a moment I start counting under my breath, waiting for his heart to beat again. More tears reach my eyes, and slowly I realize that his heart has fallen still in his chest.

  Sitting up, I stare at his body for a few seconds before suddenly clasping my bloodied hands together and closing my eyes so tight that they hurt.

  “Please God,” I whisper, as tears stream down my face. “I know we did some bad things, but we only did 'em 'cause we had to. We both wanna go on and live good, honest lives where we don't hurt anyone. The only problem is, first we have to get away. We're in love and no-one else seems to understand, at least not here.” I pause, trying to think of something else to say. “I'm begging you,” I continue. “Let us be together, and we'll be the best people in the world. Good and pious, and helpful to others. We'll even do community work! We'll settle down and get a house, and we'll have babies, and we'll be better than anyone else! We'll be the best people that people can be, but we can only do that if he's still alive. I can only be a good person if I've got my Jesophat by my side.”

  I wait, as the sirens continue to fade into the distance.

  Suddenly my eyes flick open.

  “I have to go with him?” I whisper, my voice filled with shock. Looking down at Jesophat's bloodied body, I pause for a moment.

  Finally, the sirens fade away completely.

  “I have to go with him,” I say again, taking a deep breath. As if from nowhere, the idea has arrived in my head with absolute perfect clarity, as if it was delivered to me by God. “He can't come back to me here, so I have to go with him to... wherever he's gone. He's gone like Ma went, except this time maybe we can come back not as ghosts, but in some other way. I can bring him back. I don't know how, but I can work it out once I find him. There'll be a way, there has to be. God'll guide us, and we'll both...”