The Butcher's Husband and Other Stories Read online

  Finally, slowly, Leah reaches up and unbuttons her coat, before removing it to reveal that she too is naked.

  Wow.

  Okay, this I was not expecting. I've always been a faithful husband to Vanessa, but I have to admit that I've noticed Leah's hotness several times. I've even thought about her a few times, and now here she is just a few feet away with everything on display. All I can do, for what feels like an eternity, is peer out at her naked body and admire all the curves. That is one well put together woman.

  None of this is helping me get any less hard.

  Wait, is my wife a lesbian? She's never shown any hint of that, but here she is now, standing in a locked room in the middle of night with her best friend, and they're both completely naked. My heart is racing, and I'm starting to wonder whether Vanessa and Leah might be into some kind of role-playing game. Not that I have any kind of major problem with that, so long as I'm allowed to join in. Or to at least watch.

  “Okay,” Leah says finally, “we need to be certain. We've had false positives before and -”

  “I don't think this is a false positive,” Vanessa says, interrupting her. “It doesn't feel like one.”

  “That's the whole point of false positives,” Leah replies. “They never do. Our first job is to make sure we're right about what we think we've got here. We have to go to stage three of the ritual, immediately.”

  “But what about stage two?”

  “Stage three. Now. Get the things.”

  “Are you sure? That seems a little premature.”

  “There's no harm in that,” Leah replies, still staring down at the carcass as if she's absolutely mesmerized. “If we don't prepare ourselves, however, we risk being caught out. He wouldn't be very happy if he turned up and found that we hadn't prepared the way.”

  “Are you kidding?” Vanessa replies. “We've been preparing for years!”

  “You know exactly what I mean. It's one thing to be in a general state of readiness, it's another entirely to be ready for the specific moment of his arrival. And if you're right about what you've found...” She pauses for a moment, before turning to Vanessa. “Get the masks. We need the masks.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Get the masks,” Leah says firmly. “What's wrong? Are you worried about seeming silly?”

  Vanessa opens her mouth as if to say something, but then she hesitates. Finally, clearly a little kerfuffled, she turns and heads over to the cupboard at the far end of the room, and then she disappears inside to search for something.

  Left alone at the table, Leah looks down for a moment at the dead pig.

  Slowly, while taking great care to not make any noise, I reach into my pocket and take out my phone. I know I might well end up going to Hell for this, and I know I'd deserve that fate, but over the years I've had quite a thing for Leah and I know I can't miss this opportunity. Sure, I'll always have my memories, but nothing would beat an actual photo of this hot naked woman. So as I make double sure that my phone's camera is set to work silently, I tell myself that I'm really not doing anything wrong at all. Leah will never know about the photo, and it's not like I'd ever share it with anyone else.

  I'm not some kind of pervert.

  This photo will just be for my own private use.

  So I very slowly, very carefully raise the camera until I have a good shot of Leah. Everything's in shot, but I hesitate as I find myself worrying that the phone might yet make a noise? What if I can't silence the damn thing?

  Suddenly Vanessa comes back through.

  Realizing that I might have lost my chance, I lower the phone.

  Damn it, I know the camera was set to silent. Why did I wait?

  “Here,” Vanessa says, handing something to Leah. “These things are gross, but I guess it's not like we have any choice, is it?”

  “Exactly,” Leah replies, holding the item up. “It's what he wants.”

  To my shock, I see that they're each holding a pig's head. Or rather, the skin from a pig's head. And then, adding to the grossness of the scene, they both slip the skin onto their heads and slide them down like masks. Finally, after a little adjustment, both Vanessa and Leah are standing naked with only their faces covered. The pig masks are crude and bloodied, allowing the human eyes to show from beneath, and the necks are badly torn. There's no doubt, however, that these masks are made from the heads of real pigs. Even from here, I can see the bristles.

  Slowly, I raise the camera again.

  “It's time,” Leah says, her voice muffled beneath the mask. “We need to summon him.”

  Vanessa nods.

  They clearly can't hear very well under those masks, so I figure now's my chance. I aim the camera, while taking care to crop out the pig mask that Leah's wearing so that all I can actually see is her naked body.

  Suddenly she moves around the table and reaches down into the pig's chest cavity, before starting to smear blood across her breasts.

  Okay.

  I can live with that.

  I mean, it's weird, but I can adapt.

  I adjust the phone, as I try to wait for the perfect moment. There's blood all over Leah's chest now, glistening in the bright electric light, but I figure I can live with that.

  I just need one photo, that's all.

  Before I can take the picture, however, Vanessa and Leah both start chanting.

  I freeze, not quite believing what's happening right in front of me, but sure enough they're both speaking in a language that I don't understand at all. They seem to be saying the same words, so I guess this language isn't just a load of gibberish, but at the same time I have no idea what they're saying. For all I know, they're talking in Latin or Greek or something like that, although after a few seconds I start to realize that their voices almost seem to be uniting together as one.

  I wait for a moment, and then I raise the camera again.

  I really need to get this photo of Leah's naked body. I mean, it's not as if she's trying to hide it, and as the chanting goes on and on it's becoming clear that she and Vanessa are really into this whole madness. I just need to hold my nerve and get the photo, and then really I'll have gained from the evening. At some point I'll have to ask Vanessa about what's happening here, but I'll need to find a way to be diplomatic.

  Right now, I just need this stupid phone to focus properly.

  I wait a moment, until the image on the screen is crystal clear, and then finally I tap to take the photo.

  The phone makes a clicking sound, and then the static image is displayed. I did it! I got a perfect, unobstructed view of Leah. As the chanting continues, I feel my heart racing as I realize that this evening hasn't been a total bust. I've not only determined that my wife is a little crazy, but I've also managed to get a photo of her best friend butt-naked. And that, I have to admit, has been worth every second down here on my knees.

  Still, I wouldn't mind a couple of extra shots.

  “Praise be to our master,” Leah says loudly, with a hint of anticipation in her voice. “Praise be to the one who shall deliver this world to its righteous end.”

  Um.

  Okay.

  Whatever.

  I turn the phone around, so that I can get a landscape shot with both Vanessa and Leah in the picture.

  “Praise be to the summoned one,” Vanessa says, as she lifts more guts from the pig's open chest. “Praise be to those who follow him, and may the rest be damned.”

  I take another photo. The phone clicks again, but it's pretty quiet and I'm sure no-one else will hear.

  “Praise be to his heralds,” Leah intones, as she smears more blood on her fingertip and then turns to start daubing a symbol across Vanessa's chest.

  Fumbling and almost dropping the phone, I struggle for a moment to zoom in and get a better shot. I know I should be appalled at the idea of Vanessa maybe cheating on me, but at the same time I can't deny that I'm turned on by the thought of seeing some action between them. I'll worry about my feelings later.


  “Bring forth the new world!” Leah calls out, suddenly sounding much more excited. “Let it in! Let him take control of everything!”

  I snap another shot. This time, however, the phone lets out a brief buzzing sound, as I get a message informing me that my cloud storage account is running low on space.

  Suddenly all the lights go off.

  I freeze, and after a moment I realize that the chanting has also stopped.

  I stare down at the photo on my phone's screen for a moment. It's a good picture, but a second later I suddenly realize that the screen is lit up and that the light must be picking out my face in the otherwise dark room.

  I fumble with the phone and manage to switch the screen off, and then I wait in darkness as I hope against hope that Vanessa and Leah still don't know that I'm here.

  Silence.

  No chanting.

  No anything.

  Just pure silence.

  I look out across the room, but I can't see anything at all. It's as if the entire place has suddenly been plunged into a very badly timed blackout. Still, I'm 99% sure that Vanessa and Leah didn't see me just now.

  They were way too busy with the pig, and with the chanting.

  Then again, why aren't they saying anything now? I wait, but the room is completely silent and – as the darkness continues – I start to once again feel pretty uncomfortable. I mean, shouldn't they be worried about the lack of power? Shouldn't they be trying light-switches? Shouldn't they at least be saying or doing something?

  I wait.

  Silence.

  And then, after a moment, I realize I can hear a very faint shuffling sound, as if something is coming closer through the darkness.

  As if something is coming straight toward me.

  I don't dare to breathe. I simply remain completely still, while telling myself that there's no need to get paranoid. I'm still convinced that Vanessa and Leah can't possibly have seen me, so I just need to make sure that I don't panic. Panicking would be the worst thing I could do right now. I'm sure there's just a temporary power-cut, and I'm sure it's just a coincidence, and I'm sure the power will be back on at any moment.

  Still, however, I can hear something edging closer.

  I allow myself to turn and look to the left.

  All I see is darkness, but I can't help wondering whether something – or rather, someone – is coming toward me.

  Please.

  I don't want to be caught.

  Maybe it was wrong of me to hide down here in the first place. Please, just let me get away with this and I swear I'll never hide or lie or cheat again. I'll even delete that photo from my phone if that's what it takes. Just...

  Please.

  I wait.

  Silence.

  And then, just as I feel as if I'm about to burst into tears, the lights come back on and I find that I'm all alone. I allow myself a silent moment of relief, but then the relief turns back to fear once more as I look around and realize the truth.

  I really am all alone.

  The lights were off for maybe thirty seconds tops, but in that time Vanessa and Leah have vanished. The dead pig is still on the table, and there's some blood dribbling down onto the floor, but I'm the only person in here.

  I wait, telling myself that Vanessa and Leah must be in the freezer, but I don't hear them at all. It's as if they disappeared during the darkness, but why would they do that? I'd have heard the door being unlocked, or I'd have heard the back door being opened, but nothing like that happened. Instead, it's as if Vanessa and Leah simply vanished into thin air.

  For several minutes, I don't dare move an inch. I'm certain that Vanessa and Leah have to be somewhere real close, so I wait for them to return. As the minutes pass, however, I become more and more worried that perhaps they somehow managed to get out of here, in which case maybe I should get back upstairs. After all, if Vanessa goes up and finds that I'm not in bed, she might yet realize that I was hiding down here all along. In which case, I'm going to be in a whole heap of trouble.

  I wait a short while longer, until I'm certain that Vanessa and Leah can't be down here still, and then I get to my feet and step out from behind the shelves.

  I wait again, just to check the silence, and then I start making my way toward the door that leads up to the staircase. At the last moment, however, I stop next to the table and I look down at the dead pig.

  I've been working with Vanessa for a few years now, helping out around the shop whenever she needs me. I'm pretty used to the sight of dead animals and guts and entrails and all that sort of thing. I don't even mind the smell, either. Something's different tonight, however. As I stare at the pig's chest, I can't help noticing that the cuts seem broader and messier, as if Vanessa had no time for her usual dexterity. She's a master butcher, the best in the county according to most of her customers, and her cuts are usually so delicate and firm. This time, it looks as if she didn't care about any of that. She simply wanted to get the pig open and take out its organs.

  I swallow hard.

  Okay, there's no time to stand around gawping. I head to the door and grab the handle, determined to get upstairs before Vanessa knows that I'm gone.

  And then, to my shock, I find that the door to the staircase is still locked.

  I try the handle again, only to find that it's still locked. In that moment, I feel a shudder run down my spine. I'd assumed that, during the blackout, Vanessa and Leah went upstairs. Now, however, it's clear that they couldn't have done that. This door creaks like a mother, and there's no way anyone could have opened it in silence. I pause, trying to work out where Vanessa and Leah could have gone instead, and then I slowly turn and look toward the back door. That's the only other way out of the room.

  The key is still in the lock.

  Again, I swallow hard.

  Okay.

  Okay, so Vanessa and Leah didn't go up the stairs and they didn't go out the back door, so they're still down here somewhere. I look around, waiting for some sign of them, but there's nothing. The room is totally silent. Finally I look over at the only other door, which leads through to the walk-in freezer, and I wait again.

  They must be in there.

  They're being completely silent, but they must be in the freezer.

  Naked.

  They're naked and they went into the freezer, and now they're being totally quiet.

  Yet again, I swallow hard.

  They must know that I'm here! Stepping back against the wall, I'm filled with a momentary sense of panic. Vanessa and Leah must have heard me, so why aren't they showing themselves? Vanessa, at least, should be furious with me for snooping, and I doubt Leah's too happy that I saw her with her kit off. On top of that, there's the whole business with the pig, which I imagine they're not keen to explain. I've pretty much caught them in a very unusual situation, and really they're the ones who should be shitting bricks right now. They're the ones with some talking to do.

  So why am I scared?

  I wait in silence, but as the seconds pass I begin to reconsider my earlier assumption. Sure, it's hard to believe that Vanessa and Leah could have left quietly. The door would have creaked, and the key certainly wouldn't still be in the lock. At the same time, I guess it's possible that I'm missing something. The door usually creaks, but maybe this time it was silent as a mouse. And the key shouldn't be in the back door's lock, but this might be some freak situation that could eventually be explained. I certainly like that idea more than the thought of Vanessa and Leah lurking down here somewhere.

  I open my mouth to call out to them, but at the last moment I hold back.

  Do I really want to draw attention to myself?

  If they're not here, they might hear me and come running down. Then I'd have to explain what's happening. And if they are here, then it's already pretty weird that they're hiding from me.

  I guess they left, then.

  Suddenly the lights go off again, and I'm left standing in darkness. For a moment, I don't
dare move, and I wait instead for the lights to come back on. This seems like a pretty weird, intermittent problem with the power, but I guess stuff like that happens occasionally. I look toward the door, and I can just about make out the small window that leads out into the yard. My eyes are very slowly adjusting to the darkness, and after a few more seconds I turn and see the shape of the shelves behind which I was hiding earlier. This is all a little creepy, and I'm starting to think that I should just get up into the flat and worry about everything else later.

  I turn and reach down to open the door that leads into the stairwell, but of course the handle won't turn.

  That's right, I forgot.

  It's still locked.

  I look out across the room again, and now I can see the silhouette of the dead pig on the table, with its trotters sticking out, The sight is pretty strange, but I guess there's no time to stand around and worry now. Instead, I start making my way around the table and I head to the back door. I remember that Vanessa locked the door earlier, so I reach down to turn the key.

  Except, the key is gone.

  I fumble in the darkness, but after a moment my fingertips brush against the empty keyhole. I remember seeing the key here just a few minutes ago, but now it's definitely gone.

  Or did I imagine that part?

  I swear the key was here. Slowly, I turn and look over my shoulder, but I still see only the darkened room. I watch the shadows, just in case there's any sign of Vanessa or Leah, but I still seem to be alone down here. Then again, maybe that's the problem.

  I only seem to be alone.

  I pause for a moment, before reaching into my pocket and taking out my phone. I bring up Vanessa's number, and for a few seconds I consider calling her. Would her phone ring nearby, like in a horror film, giving her away? Or would she be somewhere else when she answered, wondering where I am? Calling her would be quite a risk, and I'm not sure that I quite want to take a risk like that just yet, so instead I look for another number.

  Brad.

  I could call Brad.

  He's my sister's son, and he doesn't live too far away. I could call Brad and ask him to come to the shop, and then I'd be able to figure out what's going on. Maybe Brad would knock on the door and Vanessa would answer, or maybe I could simply ask him to take the spare set of keys from under the plant pot. Then he could let himself in and come down to let me out, and we could figure out what's going on from there.