Destiny of the Last Wolf Page 20
I head around the corner and make my way towards the Thames. This new purpose has given me an unnatural clarity of vision, and I'm finding it pretty easy to sense where I'll find Thomas Lumic. Reaching him will be the easy part; it's what I do next that's going to be hard. To be honest, I don't have a plan at all. At times like this, Duncan would stop and drive himself crazy until he'd got some kind of plan worked out, even though he'd usually end up improvising when his plan failed. Don't get me wrong: I'd love to have a plan, but I don't and I guess I'm all out of options, and all out of time. I don't even know what state Lumic will be in when I find him, so it's hard to prepare for what's about to happen. I just have to go and find him, and hope for the best.
Crossing the river, I head down towards Brixton. There are so many conflicting signals and elements around, I momentarily lose track of Lumic, but eventually I find myself standing before the gates of a small park. The place is mostly deserted, but somewhere in here - probably hiding, probably still trying to gather his strength - I can feel that Thomas Lumic is waiting. If he's in any kind of a fit state, he's probably sensed my arrival, so I don't have the element of surprise. All I can do is find him, walk up to him, and work out some kind of plan from there.
Jess
I find Lumic under a motorway bridge that spans the south-eastern corner of the park. At first, I mistake him for just another homeless guy hunched over on the ground, leaning against the concrete wall, but then I notice a red, burnt-looking hand poking out from under the figure's large black shawl, and I realize it's Lumic and his body is starting to fail. So much for him getting stronger and stronger: it looks like he's just been getting weaker and weaker. Perhaps the Ancient Wolf was right all along, and Lumic was never able to properly harness Duncan's body.
"What do you know about the darkness?" I ask after standing close by for a few minutes. So far, Lumic doesn't seem to have even noticed that I'm here.
Slowly, he looks over at me. He still has Duncan's face, but it's burnt and decaying, with parts of the skin turning blue and yellow.
"I know enough," he says, his voice sounding unhinged and raspy. He's clearly dying. I don't even need to do anything here; I doubt he's got more than twenty-four hours left before Duncan's old body disintegrates completely. "The question is, what do you know?"
I step a little closer to him. He's clearly pretty harmless. "You're dying," I say.
He smiles. "Duncan has a new body," he replies. "Don't try to hide it. I can already sense him, but don't worry. I won't be trying to take over anyone else." He holds out a hand towards me, and I can see putrid flesh sloshing away to reveal rotten bones. "As a strategy, this leaves a lot to be desired."
"Apparently a werewolf's body is a difficult thing to control," I say. "Who knew, huh?"
"I could take the body of a normal human," he continues. "That might work, but it would be such an embarrassment. Humans are vermin. I'd rather be lost forever than have to live as one of them."
"Then die," I say. "I don't think many people will mourn you."
Slowly, he starts getting to his feet. I can see the look of pain and anguish in his face, and I can hear his bones rattling and scraping together every time he moves. Eventually he's standing up, but he has to lean against the wall. As he looks at me, a patch of skin slides off his bloody face and lands on his shawl. "Tell me I'm beautiful," he says, laughing.
"I want to know about the darkness," I say, deciding I might as well use Lumic if I can.
"I know that it's coming," he says, fixing me with his reddened eyes, "and I know that it has the power to overcome everything. I know that there's no escape, not even for you and your precious Duncan. And I know that it's far, far more than just nothingness."
"It's alive," I say.
He smiles. "You're smarter than most," he replies. "Yes, it's alive. Some people have even spoken to it, to try to find out what it wants. It's..." He pauses. "Well, let's just say that it's not very communicative, but it seems to have an absolute hatred of the flesh. If you want to know more about it, I can show you, but you'll have to come a little closer."
"There's nothing you can show me," I say. "I've already seen the darkness." I pause, realizing that perhaps Lumic has started to be consumed by the darkness, in the same way that the Ancient Wolf was consumed. "It's happening to you, isn't it?" I say. "It's inside you."
"Listen," he says, stumbling towards me. As he gets closer, I realize I can hear a noise coming from beneath his shawl, almost like a strong gale blowing. Moments later, he opens his shawl and I see that his entire torso has been consumed by the darkness, with just his heart and his spine left at the edges. The 'strong gale' sound is actually an inrush of air being sucked into the void at his center "Do you want to know what it feels like?" he asks. "Do you want to know what it feels like to have oblivion grow inside your body and then start drawing you into its embrace? It's not even painful, not after a while. It's just a sensation of absolute, crushing nothingness ripping your body apart from the inside."
"Lovely," I say, stepping back as he lurches towards me again. "I'm going to find a way to stop it."
"You can't," he replies. "Weeks, months, years from now, there'll be no escape. It's spreading everywhere. It's slow, but it'll get you in the end. Of course, there is one way to escape the fear of it all."
"And what's that?" I ask cautiously.
"Just dive in," he says, grinning, "and allow yourself to be consumed first." Without warning, he reaches out, grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. I try to fight him off, but I'm not quick enough and he plunges my hand into the void in his chest. I scream as I feel the flesh being ripped away, and when I look down I see my skeletal hand being drawn deeper and deeper inside as shreds of torn flesh flutter from around my wrist. Finally, just as the bones from my hand start to fall away, I manage to pull free and I tumble to the ground.
Getting up immediately, I look down and see that my left hand is completely gone, torn off at the wrist. I'll grow back, of course, but for now the pain is intense.
"What's wrong?" he says, stumbling towards me slowly. "Does it hurt? Welcome to my world. Welcome to the feeling of being destroyed from the inside out."
Clutching my bleeding wrist, I keep a few steps away from him. "I know you don't believe me," I say, "but I will find a way to stop this. I'll wait until you're dead, and then I'll find a way to make sure this darkness can't take over."
"Nice dreams," Lumic says, "but you have no chance. Trust me, greater minds than yours have tried for centuries to find a way to hold back the darkness. It can't be done. It used to be patient, to be willing to wait until death before it absorbed souls, but now it's getting hungrier and hungrier. Fight it all you want, but sooner or later you'll feel it growing inside you, and then all you can do is wait to be consumed."
"Maybe," I say, "but at least I can use it to my advantage for a moment."
"And how's that?" he asks.
"Like this," I say. I step towards him and, without giving him time to react, I reach out and with my one good hand I grab his throat and rip his head completely off his shoulders. I should have done this the moment I arrived, but the fact that he has Duncan's face was putting me off a little. Now, though, I look down into his eyes and I see that he's still alive, so I do the only thing I can do: I push his severed head into the void in his chest, and it disappears into nothingness. Pulling away, I watch as the rest of his body collapses and soon he's gone, replaced by a patch of darkness.
From deep within the void, I hear a voice. It's the same voice as last time, except now I can't quite make out what it's saying. It's as if the voice is momentarily weak and distant, but finally it becomes louder and I can make out what it says.
"Darkness will fall," it hisses.
I don't say anything, and slowly the void seems to fade away until I'm left alone in the park. Lumic is gone, and this time I have a feeling it might be a permanent death for him. Whereas last time his body was destroyed by his soul lived on,
this time all of him was consumed by the darkness. I look down and see that my ravaged hand is already starting to regrow.
Sitting on the grass for a moment, I try to understand what's really happening. Lumic is finally gone, and technically I'm free to abandon Duncan. I always said that I'd go back to living in the wilderness, but now I can't help wondering whether that's really an option. All this talk of the darkness seems pretty real, and I'm guessing that no matter how long I spend as a wolf, I'll eventually be presented with reminds that something has to be done if the world is to escape being consumed by the void. Should I just accept that I have to stay with Duncan, or should I set out alone to live my life the way I want to live it? One thing's for certain: something has to change. I can't live like this anymore.
Jess
When I return to the Scottish Estate, it's early morning and the place seems so calm and peaceful. It takes me a while to find anyone, but eventually I ask around and someone points me in the right direction to find Christian and Sam. Approaching a clearing in the forest, I suddenly spot them in the distance: Sam is leaning against a tree, and she and Christian are locked in a passionate kiss. I guess she got what she wanted after all. It's kind of crazy to think that I managed to keep her alive through everything that happened. It's probably best to just let her get on with her own life now. I don't need her, and I like the idea that she's safe.
"Cute, huh?" says a familiar voice from behind me.
I turn to find Duncan smiling. He's not quite back to how he was, and he still looks a few years younger than when I first met him, but he's definitely on the road to recovery. "You look good," I say, trying - and probably failing - to hide how glad I am to see him again.
"Yeah," he says, "I do. So do you." He pauses. "So what happened?"
"Lumic's gone," I say. "Gone for good, this time."
"The darkness?" Duncan asks.
I nod. "What do you know about it?"
"Enough," he replies. "In a few years, it's going to be a real problem. I've already started looking into it, but so far I'm coming up blank every time."
"It's alive," I say. "It spoke to me."
"I guessed it must be sentient," he replies. "There'll be a way to stop it. I just need to find out more about it and then come up with a plan. I was thinking of heading back to the library and finding some books on the subject." He pauses. "I mean, if you're interested in coming, we could -"
"No thanks," I say.
"It won't be like last time," he says quickly, as if he anticipated my response. "I promise." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded-up piece of paper. "I've got a map this time, and I'm going to make some copies. We'll just get in, find that right books and -"
"No thanks," I say again.
"It'll be easy," he continues, obviously not getting the message.
"Duncan," I say, stepping towards him and kissing him on the cheek. "No thanks." I step back.
"You don't want to go to the library?" he says, sounding concerned. "Well... you can wait outside..."
I shake my head. "I told you that I was going back to live in the wilderness, as a wolf, and that's exactly what I'm doing. All I want to do is surrender to the natural world and push my human mind as far back as possible into the depths of my thoughts. I don't want to do any of this any more."
"It's not fun?" he asks.
"Not really," I reply. "Too many people die and get hurt. I feel like I'm done with being human, at least for now, and there's no way you can change my mind."
He pauses. "What about a holiday?" he asks. "We could go somewhere really amazing, like India or -"
"No!" I say firmly, but with a smile. "Can't you get it through your head that I'm really not interested?"
He sighs, with a look on his face that suggests he's sulkily accepting my decision. "You won't last," he says eventually. "You'll get bored and you'll come looking for me."
"Not for a long, long time," I say. "This really is goodbye."
He gives a derisory sniff. "Whatever," he says, turning and walking away.
"So did you have this all planned out?" I ask.
He stops, turns to me and smiles. "All what planned out?"
"Well..." I pause. "Did you know that Lumic was going to be consumed by the darkness?"
He shakes his head.
"Did you know he wouldn't be able to control your old body?"
He smiles and nods.
"And did you know when I bit your tail off, that we'd be able to use it to regrow you?"
He shrugs, turns and walks away.
"Thanks for everything," I call after him.
He doesn't look back. He just raises a hand briefly, as if he's waving, and carries on walking. I watch him go until finally he's out of sight. I can't even begin to imagine the kind of things he's going to get up to without me, and I'm almost certain that at some point he's going to come bounding back into my life. After all, I really don't think Duncan's very good at controlling himself, and sooner or later he'll get into some kind of big mess and he'll convince himself that he needs me. I'm not really looking forward to that day. What I want is just to experience the peace and calm of being a wolf.
So that's what I do.
Glancing back at Sam and Christian one more time, I decide there's no point in having a big, sad goodbye, so I switch to my wolf form and I start running. I run across the Scottish Estate and, when I reach the edge, I don't stop; I just keep going. After a few hours, I have to pause to sleep in a remote field, after which I catch a rabbit, eat its carcass, and then I run on and on and on. I carefully avoid going anywhere near London, and I spend a few months living a quiet life across the south-west of England. Finally, feeling that I'm still not far enough from my past, I make a big decision.
Late one night, still in my wolf form, I manage to sneak into the freight yards around the entrance to the Channel Tunnel. From there, it's not hard to get into one of the service vents and I start running. It doesn't take too long before I'm out the other end, in France. I sniff the air, which smells fresh and new, and then I hear a noise nearby. A French security guard comes running over to scare me away, obviously thinking I'm just a normal wolf. I turn and run, heading away and off into the French countryside.
As I keep running, I find my human mind is becoming less and less vocal. I'm thinking more like a wolf, and thoughts of my old life - Duncan and my parents - become less and less frequent, getting lost in the mix of other thoughts and feelings I have. Whereas I used to think in terms of words, now I think in terms of feelings and emotions. When I see a rabbit, for example, I don't think about eating it; I simply decide to go for it. I still remember my past life, of course, and I could switch back to my human form any time I like, but instead I'm embracing my wolf side. After a few days, I realize I've run so far that I'm now in Germany, but I feel so strong and so free that I just want to run and run forever. Seeing no reason to stop, I keep going and I lose track of where I am. I'm pretty sure I pass through Eastern Europe and then down into the Baltic region, and then one day - quite out of nowhere - I find myself approaching a street sign. It takes me a moment to really understand that, after all these months, I've reached Asia. Looking out across the plains, I realize that I've got the whole world in front of me. Sure, at some point I might have to face the prospect of this 'darkness' arriving, but there's always a chance that Duncan will sort that out without me. For now, I've got the vast Asian continent ahead of me: thousands of miles of wilderness in which to lose myself. If wolves could smile, I'd be smiling right now. As I stand and take in the view, I realize that the whole world is waiting for me to explore.
Who needs Duncan anyway?
Duncan
Several years ago.
I stare at the envelope for a moment. There's a part of me that would like to rip it open and read the letter from Anna, but at the same time I feel as if now isn't the right time. After all, when she wrote this final message to me, she was delirious and pumped full of anti-cancer drugs; she
probably wasn't even in a decent frame of mind. Although I'd like to believe that she wrote a beautiful, heartfelt final message to me, the truth is that she probably just jotted down some garbled thoughts in her final hours. That's not how I want to remember her at all, so I fold the envelope up and put it back in my pocket.
The past is the past. There's no need to keep digging it up.
It's winter, and London is cold. Despite my hatred of humans and human civilization, I've chosen to stay here for a while. Perhaps I'm trying to get a better sense of humanity, or perhaps I'm just mourning Anna, but London seems like a good place to be. There's bitingly cold rain almost every day, driven through the air by gales that almost blow the locals off their feet. The sky is constantly gray, as are the buildings. That's something I've never understood about modern humans: they make all their buildings so gray and dull. Stand on a high point and London spreads out before you like a sprawling gray metropolis, with millions of people jostling about in the streets, trying to live their lives.
By day, I usually sleep. Curled up in my wolf form in one of the larger parks in the center of the city, I've learned to block out the sounds of traffic nearby. My hearing is so good, I can hear buses and cars from miles away, and the city is never truly quiet. At first, I was annoyed by the constant noise; then I found I was able to ignore it; now I find it comforting. These responses might not seem rational, but I'm still dealing with Anna's death and I fear events have affected me more deeply than I've acknowledged to date.