At the Edge of the Forest Read online

  “Shannon!” a voice calls out.

  Turning, I see that Doctor Williams is hurrying along the corridor. Great. I was hoping I'd get out of here before she caught up with me.

  “Do you have somewhere to go?” she asks.

  “Everyone's got somewhere to go,” I mutter.

  “I mean a bed. Somewhere safe.”

  I shake my head.

  “You know there are programs,” she continues. “There are -”

  “I've got something fixed up,” I reply, interrupting her. I can't help noticing the guard rolling her eyes as she walks away. “I have a friend I'm going to go look up for a while, hopefully she...” My voice trails off as I realize that even Glenda might not want to see me after all this time, especially if I tell her where I've been. After all, who wants to put up with a convicted felon? For a moment I feel tears welling in my eyes, but I sniff them back and remind myself that I have to stay strong. Anyway, this is all my fault, and crying won't help.

  “A lot of people end up in prison because they think they have to cope with things alone,” Doctor Williams tells me, as the guard heads over to the door and swipes her card in the sensor. “And then they end up back here because they make the same mistake over and over again. Shannon, I don't want you to let one mistake ruin your life. When I first met you here, you were a complete mess. You've made so much progress, you've learned to control your anger and to keep your tempter under control, and -”

  “I have to get going,” I reply, turning and heading to the open door that leads out to the broad, bright prison parking lot outside.

  “At least listen to me,” Doctor Williams continues, hurrying after me. “You learned a lot while you were here, didn't you? You learned how to recognize your own triggers for destructive behavior -”

  “I don't have time for this.”

  “Shannon -”

  She grabs my arm and I turn to her, and for a moment I swear to God I'm ready to punch that concerned expression clean off her face. Fortunately I manage to hold back, although I still pull my arm away from her grip.

  “You can call me if you need anything,” she says after a moment.

  “I'll remember that.”

  “But you won't call, will you?”

  “I won't need to.” I pause, and even though I want to walk away, there's another part of me that's terrified. “Thanks for everything,” I tell her finally, before carrying my meager bag of possessions past her and stepping out into the parking lot. Again, I feel a rushing sensation in my chest, and I stop for a moment, tempted to turn around and ask to go back inside. I don't know if I can survive out here, I don't even know how I'm going to track Glenda down.

  “Good luck,” Doctor Williams calls after me. “I mean that.””

  I turn to her, but I'm too late. The door swings shut and I hear the bolts being slid across from the inside. Turning to look across the parking lot again, I have to hold up a hand to shield my eyes from the sun.

  I'm free. Not only that, but I'm -

  And then it hits me. I feel an almost physical punch to the gut, forcing me to take a step back. Filled with a sudden sense of panic, I turn and look around, convinced that something deadly is racing straight toward me. Starting to feel short of breath, I hurry toward the bus stop, but I can't help glancing over my shoulder in case I'm about to be struck from behind. When I get to the shelter, I take a seat and try to calm my nerves, but a kind of raw fear is ripping through my nerves. Something's wrong, but I can't work out what, and even though I tell myself that this is just a good old-fashioned panic attack...

  I take a deep breath.

  I pause for a moment.

  And then I realize what's wrong.

  “Rita,” I whisper, fumbling in my pocket to find the envelope containing my meager earnings from my time in prison. “Something's wrong with Rita.”

  Part Twelve

  BRIAN

  I

  I'm alone. She's not coming back.

  Not ever.

  It's been a couple of days now since Alison walked out the door, and the only message she's sent has been a vague, slightly cryptic text message about needing some time to decide what she wants in life. I'm pretty sure I know what that means. She's probably gone to look up that Adam guy, the one she really loved before she was tricked into loving me instead.

  He's lucky.

  I hope he takes her back, and I hope she's happy with him. They should have been together all along.

  I don't deserve her. Making my way from one unlit room to the next, I realize that I have no idea what I'm supposed to do now. I haven't left the house in two days, and I've spent most of that time sobbing on the floor, crippled by the rush of guilt that was unleashed when the voice took away its gifts. Over the past few years I've done some truly unspeakable things, I've kidnapped girls and taken them into the forest, and I've hurt them so that the creature out there can enjoy their suffering. Some of the girls were lured in by the voice itself, but I was still needed, I still had to lock them up and carry out the voice's instructions. Others had to be taken from the outside world, and I did that too.

  I became a monster out there in the real world, just so that I could be a happily married normal man at home.

  All that time, the voice took away my sense of guilt, but now I feel a crushing responsibility for my actions. I keep reliving every second of my inhumanity, particularly with the last girl. Two years ago, just before my accident, the voice called me into the forest and showed me a woman it had managed to capture without my help. She had numerous injuries from a car accident, and she never really woke up while I was stripping her naked and getting her into the pit where I always kept the voice's victims. Her face had been mashed to a pulp, so I don't even know if she was able to speak anymore. I found an I.D. card on her, so I knew her name was Glenda Rabindale, but apart from that I couldn't bear to hear her moans so I gagged her in case she woke up. I was supposed to get her ready for the voice's torture, but then that drunk driver crashed into me and the poor bitch ended up starving to death in the pit.

  And I never felt even a twinge of guilt. All I knew was that I had to do it, because otherwise the voice would take my dear Alison away. I thought the voice was fixing things so that I didn't have any guilt at all, but now I realize it was simply shielding me from those feelings.

  They were still there, in my soul.

  Now I feel the guilt scratching at my belly, and I realize that I've become a heinous, unforgivable man. All those lives...

  Heading through to the front room, I take a seat at the desk and read through the letter I've been writing to Alison. I'm still not sure what's going to happen to me, but I don't think I'll ever see my wife again and I want to leave something behind that might explain my actions. I can't handle the thought of her finding out about my crimes from the police or the media and thinking I was just a heartless beast, so I've tried to put everything down in writing. She'll probably assume I was insane, but that's okay. At least I'll have done my best. It's pathetic, really, but I have no other options.

  With tears rolling down my cheeks, I get to the end of the letter and realize that there's nothing more to add.

  “I love you with all my heart,” I read out loud, before signing my name and then slipping the letter into an envelope with Alison's name on the front.

  I can't live like this.

  I can't live without Alison, and I can't live with the knowledge of what I did to those girls.

  There's a knife on the desk. I put it there last night. Taking a deep breath, I look at my left wrist and imagine the blade slicing through the flesh. This is the only way I can reclaim even a modicum of decency and honor. I have to pay for what I did, but...

  But first there's one other thing I have to do. I'm not seeking redemption, I know it's far too late for that, but there's one person I might actually be able to help out of this godforsaken mess. After everything else I've done, I have to at least try.

  ***

>   As I park at the edge of the trailer park and cut the engine, I feel the knot of tension getting tighter and tighter in my chest. I drove past this place so many times over the years, always filled with hatred for the people who live here. I thought they were human garbage, just worthless walking lumps of shit. I guess when the creature took away my guilt, it had to take my empathy as well, and I became a nasty, hate-filled asshole who looked down on everyone.

  I wasn't like that before. Once, I was a good person.

  I wish I could be again.

  Checking my watch, I see that it's almost midnight. The trailers are mostly unlit, with their occupants having presumably gone to sleep, but there are a few lights in the distance. I climb out of the car and wander along the dark path until I spot a man sitting outside one of the farthest trailers, drinking beer. As I get closer, I realize that this part of the park is backing onto the forest, and I can't help staring up at the dark trees and wondering what madness is taking place in there right now. I know the creature is still in there, even if its voice no longer calls out to me. I wish I could find some way to stop it, to destroy it and ensure that no-one else ever has to suffer, but I'm no hero. All I can do is try to help the girl who has been appearing to me in my visions.

  One saved life, to stack against the many lives I stole.

  “You okay there, sailor?” the guy outside the trailer asks as I reach him.

  “Um...” I take a deep breath. “I'm looking for someone. I'm not certain this is where she lives, but I tried looking up the details online and... Do you happen to know if there's a girl named Rita Bone who lives around here?”

  “Rita?” He stares at me for a moment, and I can immediately tell that he knows her. “What do you want with Rita?”

  “I just need to have a quick word with her,” I tell him. “Do you know which of these trailers is hers?”

  “Rita hasn't been around for a few days,” he says cautiously. “Her mother's too drunk to care, but I've sure as hell noticed. I keep telling myself she's just been working a lot and I've missed her, but I'm starting to think something else might be up. Wouldn't be the first time around here.”

  “Where does she live?”

  He points at the next trailer along.

  “Thank you,” I reply, turning and making my way along the path.

  “She's not there right now, though,” he adds.

  “She's not at work,” I reply, turning to him. “I just checked there.”

  “Huh.” He pauses again, and I can see that he's worried. “Well, I guess I could tell deep down that something was wrong. If she's vanished like her sister...” His voice trails off, and he seems lost in thought.

  “It's very important that I find her,” I tell him. “She doesn't know me, but I have to warn her about something. She'll probably think I'm a complete idiot, but I have to at least try.”

  “Warn her about what?” he asks.

  “I really need to speak to her in person,” I continue. “It's a very complicated situation, and I don't have long. Do you have any idea where she might be?”

  He stares at me for a moment. “You know her, don't you?”

  “I'm sorry? Um, no, not really. Rita's just -”

  “Not Rita,” he continues. “I'm talking about her. The one in the forest.”

  “I...” My voice trails off. He can't mean what I think he means, can he?

  He turns and looks toward the trees. “I remember when I first came here,” he says finally, “a long, long time ago. I was supposed to heal someone, but everything I tried ended in failure. Eventually I was sent away, but I couldn't...” He pauses, before turning to me with tears in his eyes. “You have to understand that she wasn't a bad person to start with. When she was young and innocent, she just wanted to play in the forest. She had such a good heart and she never wanted to hurt anyone, it was only later that she began to change. She never got the chance to grow up, she never became an adult, and instead she became...”

  I wait for him to continue. “You're not talking about Rita right now, are you?” I ask finally. “You're talking about someone else, someone who lives in the forest.”

  “You have to believe me,” he stammers, “she's good at heart and...” He pauses, before getting to his feet. “Have you seen her? I've been waiting for her all this time, I couldn't go to her but... You have seen her, haven't you?”

  “Please -”

  “Is she still beautiful?” he asks. “I know she's done some terrible things, and I know she's made other people do things on her behalf, but you must have seen a hint of purity in her soul.”

  “I...” For a moment, I think back to the creature's hideous face. “It's complicated,” I say cautiously. “I really need to -”

  Before I can finish, I hear the sound of a car screeching to a halt nearby and I turn just in time to see a set of headlights being switched off. A figure climbs out of the car and hurries through the darkness, and when she reaches us I'm shocked to see that she bears a striking resemblance to Rita. A little older, maybe, and definitely more tired, but there's more than a passing similarity.

  “Where is she?” she asks, her voice filled with panic.

  “Shannon?” the guy replies, stepping toward her. “Where the hell have you been?”

  She pushes past him, heading toward the next trailer. “Where's Rita?”

  II

  “Where is she?” she screams a few minutes later, as she drags a crying, sobbing woman out through the trailer's door. “Where the hell is my sister?”

  “Shannon!” the woman shouts, trying to get free of her grasp as she slips down onto the ground. Naked and clearly not well, the woman tries to cover herself with her hands.

  “I'm serious, Mom,” Shannon continues, standing over her. “Clearly you're still a drunk, whoring bitch who doesn't care about anyone else, but please, please tell me that you at least kept Rita safe. Come on, at least tell me you managed to be a proper parent for five fucking minutes!”

  “I haven't seen her for a few days,” the woman stammers. “I swear -”

  “Where is she?” Shannon screams, grabbing her mother's neck.

  “Wait,” I tell her, pulling her back. “What's going on here?”

  “Who the hell are you?” Shannon asks, turning to me. “Let me guess, you're this pathetic whore's latest customer, right?”

  “Rita's missing,” the other guy says, coming over to join us. “Rita, it's me, it's Scottie. Remember?”

  “I remember,” she replies cautiously, as her sobbing mother clambers back into the trailer on her hands and knees. “What do you mean, missing? How long has she been gone for?”

  “A couple of days,” Scottie replies. “I think, anyway. She's been working at the store and -”

  “What store?” Shannon asks.

  “BarraBuy,” he continues. “The same place as you. Shannon, she's been searching for you, she's been desperately trying to find you. Where have you been?”

  “Busy,” Shannon mutters. “If she's not here, then maybe -”

  “She's not at the store,” I tell her, interrupting. “I was just there.”

  “And who are you again?” she asks, turning to me. “Why are you so interested in my sister?”

  “If I told you,” I reply, “you'd think I was insane.”

  “You'd be surprised what I think is insane these days,” she continues. “I want to know where my sister is, and I want to know right now!”

  ***

  “What the hell is this place?” I hiss, hurrying after her as she storms toward the apartment building. “I thought you wanted to track your sister down! Why would she be here?”

  “She wouldn't be,” Shannon replies, “at least not now. I've got a feeling she's been here recently, though. If she's been searching for me, there's one person she'd definitely try to look up, and I think she's just smart enough to work out where to find her.”

  I follow her into the foyer and over to a set of mailboxes, where she starts frant
ically checking all the names.

  “Who are we looking for?” I ask.

  “The name Shannon Bone.”

  “But I thought you were -”

  “My friend's been using my name,” she continues. “At least, I think she has. The last time I spoke to her, she was about to move into a place here and -” Stopping suddenly, she turns and hurries to the stairs.

  “And what?” I ask, before spotting the name S. Bone on the mailbox for apartment 119. Turning, I see that Shannon is already out of sight. “Great,” I mutter, feeling a twinge of pain in my legs as I start to follow. “I'm getting too old for this.”

  ***

  “And I told you,” the other girl replies, sounding increasingly annoyed, “that was the only time I saw her over the past two years. It was about four or five days ago and -”

  “How did she seem?” Shannon asks. “Come on, Glenda, think! Did she say where she was going, did she mention anything strange going on in her life?”

  “No, she just said she'd been looking for you! I explained the arrangement we'd set up and...” She glances at me, and I can tell she's suspicious.

  “Ignore him,” Shannon says firmly. “I need you to focus on Rita. Did she say anything at all that could help us to find her?”

  “We talked for a while outside the diner,” she replies, “but...” Again she glances at me, and I can tell that she's terrified of something.

  “Brian Carter,” I tell her, forcing a smile. “I'm just... I'm also trying to find Rita. It's a little complicated.”

  “I'm sure she'll show up,” the girl continues, turning back to Shannon. “I think she was just really worried about you, Shannon. It's been two years, where the hell have you been for two whole years?”

  “I'll tell you some other time.”

  “Were you in trouble?”

  “I can't explain right now.” Sighing, she takes a step back. “Where the hell could she be? She's not at the store, she's not at home, she's not here, there's no way she'd be dumb enough to go into the forest...”