Asylum Page 37

  "Do you want to do something else?" I whisper as I continue to slowly stroke him. I can't work out whether I feel like a slut, or like I'm in control.

  "Like what?" he replies.

  Without saying anything, I walk around and step in front of him. He puts his arms around me and we kiss, tenderly and slowly, while he unbuttons my shirt. Loosening my bra, he finally gets his hands on my breasts, squeezing them gently. He leans down and kisses my nipples, sucking on them a little as I reach down and keep rubbing his penis. I'm starting to get really wet now, and finally I can't help myself and I pull him down onto the ground, quickly pulling my pants off and taking hold of him to guide him inside. He starts slowly making love to me in the moonlight by the edge of the lake. It feels like the most perfect moment.

  Chapter Five

  I wake up suddenly. It's morning, and a gray sky hangs over the calm lake. I turn and see Kieran's tent, but when I go over and look inside, there's no sign of him. I stare back at the trees, wondering where he might have gone. Completely naked, I walk over to the edge of the river and dip a toe in, but it's far too cold to swim. I guess I'll just have to wash when I get home. Speaking of which, I never intended to spend the whole night out. My mother will definitely have noticed that I'm gone, and she'll probably be panicking like crazy. Damn it, I'm going to have to face more of her crap when I get home, but it was worth it. Standing there alone by the lake, I realize that something important has changed. I'm not a virgin any more. I've been with a guy, and it was pretty great too. Okay, it hurt a little at first, but we went all the way and I think I almost managed to have an orgasm. I guess I can't complain, except I wish he'd left some kind of note to say where he'd gone and how long he'd be.

  I loiter by the tent for a couple of hours, waiting for him to come back, but eventually I start to get really hungry. Wondering if he's coming back at all, I figure he knows where I live so I grab a pen from my pocket and write him a quick note. The truth is, I'm thinking of leaving today; I'm going to go home, go through the inevitable argument with my mother, and then start packing. It'll take me a while to cycle to the main road, but once I'm there I can ditch the bike and flag down a bus. It feels harsh to just go off and abandon Kieran, but it's his fault for not being here in the morning. Besides, I doubt he thought this was going to be a serious thing. It was a bit of fun, for one night. If we had similar lives, I'd definitely try to make it work, but I don't think our plans are very compatible. As I finish writing the note, I hesitate for a moment as I try to decide whether to add a kiss after my name. Eventually I decide I might as well, so I draw a little X before getting dressed and setting off on the walk home.

  It takes me a while to find my way back to the house. I wasn't really paying attention last night, and my sense of direction has never been great. After about an hour, though, and with the midday sun high in the sky, I finally spot the house in the distance. Hurrying, I get closer and see my parents and Taylor in the window. It's only when I get closer that I realize there's an extra person in there. Sitting at the dining room table with Taylor, there's an older man, and I immediately realize that this must be the fifth man that Kieran was talking about. As I stare at the window, not sure what to do, the man slowly looks out at me and smiles.

  "Mom!" I shout, running toward the front door. "Dad!" I race into the house, pulling up short as I get into the kitchen, where I find my parents and Taylor sitting at the table. There's no sign of the man. "Where is he?" I ask breathlessly.

  "Where the hell have you been?" my mother says, looking furious.

  "Never mind that," I say. "That man. Where is he? Did you see him?"

  My parents exchange confused glances.

  "You saw him," I say to Taylor. "I know you saw him. Tell them."

  "Annie, sit down," my father says. "We want to know where you were all night."

  "Do you know how worried I was?" my mother adds, getting to her feet and walking over to me.

  "There's a guy in our house," I say.

  "Shut up," she snaps. "Just shut up and tell us where you were!"

  "There's a guy -" I start to say, but suddenly she slaps me hard across the face.

  "Honey," my father says.

  "She deserves it," my mother continues, staring at me. "After everything we went through with Taylor, she pulls a stunt like this, staying out all night and scaring us to death."

  "There's a guy in the house," I say firmly, trying to get her to focus on what's important. "I just saw him through the window. Other people have seen him too."

  "What other people?" my mother asks.

  "No-one," I say, realizing now isn't the right time to start mentioning Kieran. "But you've got to listen to me, there's something going on here, and Taylor knows about it."

  My mother stares at me for a moment, before turning to Taylor. "Do you know what Annie's talking about?" she asks him.

  Taylor shakes his head.

  "He's a liar," I say. "He's a fucking liar."

  "Whoa!" my father says, getting to his feet. "Language, Annie. We don't talk like that in this family. We respect each other, okay?"

  "Well Mom just told me to shut up," I say, "and in case you missed it, she slapped me. So I guess the respect can be paused when it's convenient, huh?"

  "It's like I don't even know you anymore," my mother says, staring at me.

  "Yeah, well, I've got some more news for you," I continue. "I spent the night with a guy I met in the forest. Don't worry, though. I won't be bringing him home. It was a one-night thing."

  "Go to your room!" my mother shouts.

  "Sure," I say. "I need to pack anyway." I hurry through to my bedroom, my mind rushing with all the things I have to do. I'm not bluffing. I've had enough of this family, and I have to get out of here. There's nothing in the world that could convince me to stay. If they don't believe me about the guy living in our house, that's their problem. They can stay here and go crazy if they want. I don't care. I'll be in Denver, living a real life.

  "What the hell are you doing?" my mother shouts, following me into my room.

  "I'm leaving," I say. Turning to her, I see that Taylor has also come through. He's staring at me with this strange, dark expression. "What are you looking at?" I ask him.

  "Don't talk to your brother like that," my mother says.

  "Precious little angel," says another voice. I turn, but there's no-one here with me in my room apart from Taylor and our mother.

  "You really worry me sometimes," my mother says, staring at me. "There's something wrong with you, Annie. You seem to take delight in being obstructive. How do you expect to ever have any friends when you're always so objectionable?"

  I take a deep breath. That other voice is starting to bother me. I've heard it once before, and now I can't help thinking it's significant.

  "I'll be gone in a couple of hours," I say. "Can you just try to hold off on the criticism until I'm out the door?" I grab some clothes from the dresser drawer and throw them into my bag.

  "Where are you going to go?" my mother asks.

  "Denver," I say, grabbing more clothes.

  "And do what? Drink your life away? Take drugs? Have casual sex?"

  "Yes!" I say, turning to her, unable to contain my anger any longer. "I'm going to do all of those things and more! I'm going to turn into a real little fucking devil!"

  My mother turns, pushing Taylor out into the hallway, and then she follows him out. Glancing back at me, there's a new kind of anger in her eyes: cool and glassy, it's as if she's reached a new plateau of insanity. "You're not going," she says.

  I shrug. "You can't stop me."

  She pauses for a moment before pulling my bedroom door shut. Seconds later, I hear a key turn in the lock and I hurry over to find that the door won't open.

  "Are you serious?" I shout, banging on the door. "You're going to lock me in my room? Are you fucking serious?"

  "It's for your own good," she says calmly. "You can't go out in this state."

&n
bsp; I turn and head over to the window, but it's also locked and there's no sign of the key. All the windows in this house have reinforced glass thanks to my mother's un-ending paranoia, which means I'm effectively trapped in my room. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I shout, turning back to the door.

  "You're a danger to yourself," my mother says from out in the hallway. "You're becoming promiscuous and borderline deranged, Annie."

  "I'm a danger to you, you fucking bitch!" I shout. "When I get out of here..." I pause. Obviously I'd never actually hurt my mother, but it's still hard to control my temper. She's so determined to keep everyone safe in this house, she can't allow the possibility that any of us might ever leave. I never thought she'd go this far, though. I guess I should have seen it coming, and I should have planned better. "I want to talk to Dad," I say, managing to calm down a little. "Please, Mom. I can't take this anymore. Let me talk to Dad."

  "Your father agrees with me," she says.

  "So let me talk to him."

  "He agrees with me," she says firmly. "You can come out tomorrow, when you've calmed down and you're ready to talk about this rationally."

  "I'm not the one being irrational here," I say, feeling my anger starting to boil over again. "I'm not the one locking people in rooms." I wait for her to reply. "I'm not the fucking psychotic bitch who thinks she can make everything okay if she just locks her family away like they're specimens in a collection. Why don't you stick a pin through us all and hang us on the wall like fucking butterflies? At least then you'd know we're safe!"

  Silence on the other side.

  "Are you listening to me?" I shout.

  Silence.

  "Are you even fucking there?" I shout, but it's clear that she's not. She's obviously back gone through to my father, probably shutting the door to the hallway so she can't hear me shouting at her.

  As the hours pass, I try to keep busy. I finish packing, because there's no way in hell I'm staying here a second longer than I have to. I find an old memory stick and hook it up to my computer, and there are some photos from school that keep me occupied for an hour or two. When I try to go online, I find that the password for the network has been changed to prevent me from gaining access, so I end up playing stupid PC games for an hour or two. By evening, I'm starting to get hungry, but no-one seems to be bringing me any food so I end up eating a bag of potato chips that I fortuitously left under my bed the other day. I guess my mother's decided that starvation should be part of my punishment. Finally I fall asleep for a while, and when I wake up it's dark outside. I stare at the darkness for a moment, trying to work out why I woke up at all. It feels like there was a noise...

  Suddenly a stone hits the window. I hurry over and look out, and I see Kieran standing nearby. I try to signal to him that I can't open the window, but he looks confused. He makes some kind of gesture of his own, but I have no idea what it means. The window's sound-proof, so I can't shout anything at him, and I guess he knows he can't draw attention to himself too much. I try to make hand signals to get him to realize I'm trapped in here, but it's useless. Suddenly, realizing I can write on the window, I signal to him to wait a moment and I go over to my bag, searching through it to find some lipstick. It takes a minute or two, but eventually I find it and hurry back to the window... only to find that Kieran's gone. I stare out at the space where he was standing. I guess he thought I didn't want to see him again. Sighing, I let my head gently rest against the glass. Tomorrow morning, my mother has to let me out of here. And when she does, I'm getting the hell out of here immediately, with perhaps a quick detour to say goodbye to Kieran first.

  Chapter Six

  "Annie," says a voice, and I wake up. It's getting light outside. I turn to the door, but it's still shut.

  "Hello?" I call out.

  "Are you okay in there?" asks the voice, and I realize with relief that it's Taylor. I get off the bed and go over to the door.

  "I'm fine," I say, still a little dozy from being asleep. "Taylor, is there a key in the door?"

  "No," he says.

  "Do you know where Mom put the key?" I ask.

  "No," he says again.

  Sighing, I realize I'm stuck here until she decides to let me out. Fortunately, my father will probably insist that they at least give me a chance this morning. I mean, I haven't eaten for more than twenty-four hours. Sure, my mother's insane, but she's not crazy enough to actually start starving me, is she?

  "You know whose fault this is, don't you?" says another voice. It sounds like a man, standing on the other side of the door, the same man whose voice I heard a couple of times before.

  "Who are you?" I ask. "Taylor, are you still out there?"

  "Hi, Annie," Taylor says.

  "Go and get Mom and Dad," I say, starting to worry.

  "Why?" Taylor asks.

  "It's okay," the man's voice says. "I only came to tell you that it's starting."

  I pause for a moment, feeling a genuine chill run through my body. "What's starting?" I ask.

  "The signal is out there," he replies.

  "What signal?" As soon as I say the words, I remember something Kieran was telling me about a radio signal in the forest. "Who are you?" I ask.

  "It can't be stopped," the voice says, and for a moment he sounds a little strange, as if there's some static. "The signal marks the start."

  "Let me out of here," I say. Whoever this guy is, he sounds really fucking creepy. I try the door again, but it's still locked. Is it possible that whoever kidnapped Taylor back in Maine has somehow followed us out to our new house? "Taylor, go and get Mom and Dad!"

  "It's clear for miles," the voice says. "Wait a moment. Julia, put that down."

  "Julia?" I ask. "Who the fuck is Julia?" Something's really, really wrong here.

  "Ignore that," the voice says. "There was interference. It's the end, anyway. The transmission is already into its second cycle. Three should be enough."

  "Dad!" I scream at the top of my voice. "Dad!"

  Suddenly there's a click, and I realize the door has been unlocked. I pull it open and find Taylor standing alone in the hallway. There's no key in the lock.

  "Taylor, did you see a man here?" I ask, kneeling in front of him.

  He stares at me.

  "Taylor, did you hear the man's voice?"

  He keeps staring at me. "The second cycle is locked down," he says suddenly, but it's the man's voice that's coming from his mouth. I get to my feet and step back.

  "Taylor?" I say, starting to get really freaked out. "Taylor, say something to me."

  "The receiving station is overloaded," he replies, using the man's voice. "This is no good. The packets are getting scrambled." He pauses for a moment. When he speaks again, it's with a woman's voice. "We need to be able to see the other end," this other voice says. "Well, we can't," the man's voice says. "We're just going to have to shut it off." He pauses. "Or we could let it run and just see what happens." The woman speaks again: "Isn't that unethical?" The male voice laughs: "This whole fucking thing is unethical." All of these voices are coming from Taylor's mouth, and he's staring at me with a blank expression.

  "Who are you?" I say, trying to work out what to do here. Something's clearly very wrong with Taylor, or maybe it's not; maybe I'm the problem. Have I finally lost my mind? I pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. I don't know if that would even work, but it hurts and nothing changes.

  "Turn it up full," the male voice says via Taylor's mouth. "Replace the signal." There's a pause, and then Taylor opens his mouth wide and a buzzing, static sound comes out.

  "Stop that!" I shout at him. "Stop it!" I rush forward, grabbing Taylor and shaking him, but the buzz still comes from his mouth. It's a kind of electric sound, as if some kind of machine is malfunctioning. "What are you?" I say, staring into his eyes. For a moment, I get a flash in my mind of some kind of room, with two people huddled around some equipment. It doesn't last long, but it's enough to make me realize that something's seriously
wrong with my brother. And that's when it hits me: this isn't Taylor at all! It's his body, but it's not him.

  "Stop the noise!" I say, starting to feel as if the buzzing sound is getting into my head. I can't explain it, but it feels like the noise is on the same frequency as my thoughts, almost as if it's somehow getting inside my mind. I find myself having to concentrate on my own thoughts, forcing myself to remember who I really am. I run through to the kitchen and grab a knife from the drawer, and when I turn around I see that Taylor has followed me through, still making that buzzing sound. I don't care how, but I have to find a way to make that noise stop before it makes me go insane.

  "Here," I say, grabbing his hand and cutting the skin. A thick patch of blood immediately appears, and he pulls the hand away, but that buzzing sound is still coming from his mouth. I reach out and hold him by the shoulders. "Taylor, you have to stop," I say. "Please!"

  He just stares at me blankly, his mouth still open and making the buzzing sound. I grab his jaw, trying to force his mouth closed, but he pulls away from me.

  I run through to my parents' bedroom. Entering the room as quietly as possible, I find that they're both still asleep. I carefully and quietly step around the bed and go to the dresser on my mother's side. Reaching down, I open the drawer and find the gun she keeps. I take it out, and then I notice that there's also a set of keys in there. Grabbing the keys, I shut the drawer before quietly walking back to the door. As I'm about to leave the room, I hear a rustling sound from the bed.

  "Annie?" my mother says. "What the hell are you doing out of your room?"

  I turn to her, and I see her gaze fall on the gun in my hand.

  "Annie?" she says. "What are you doing?" She reaches out and nudges my father awake. "John, wake up!" she says, her voice filled with tension.

  "Something's wrong," I say. I can still hear the crackling static, as if it's in the air all around us.

  "Put that thing down," my mother says. "It's loaded."

  "Jesus, Annie," says my father as he sits up. "What are you doing with that?"