The Ghost of Briarwych Church Page 9

  I open my mouth to tell her that this reaction is wrong, but then I realize that there is no point. She seems utterly lost in her own thoughts, and I think I know why this is the case.

  “I must go out for a while,” I tell her, stepping back to the doorway. “You will be fine here, I trust?”

  “Of course, Mummy,” she replies breezily, as if she has not a care in the world. “Why wouldn't I be?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Rushing into the cemetery, I begin to make my way along the path that leads to the church's main door. Evening light is fading now, and the cemetery is bathed in the dull blue-tinted glow of approaching evening. My heart is racing, but I know that I must go to Shaltak and beg for her help. Something is desperately wrong with Elizabeth.

  Suddenly I trip and stumble, before falling hard onto my knees. I let out a pained wince before starting to get up, but then I find that a figure is towering over me.

  I scream as I see a headless woman wearing Prue's dress.

  “No!” I shout, turning away and cowering for a moment. “Leave me alone!”

  I wait, and then I turn to see that the figure is gone. I look around, but I am all alone in the cemetery, and I hurry to my feet and race to the church before the figure can appear again.

  ***

  “Father Perkins?” I call out as soon as I am in the church. “Father Perkins, are you here?”

  I make my way to his office and look inside, but there is no sign of him, and after a moment I notice that his shoes and his bicycle are missing. Evidently he is out somewhere in the village, or perhaps at the airbase, so I make my way along the aisle until I reach the altar and then I hurriedly get down onto my knees.

  “I need Elizabeth to be alright,” I stammer desperately. “Something's wrong. Something's so very wrong.”

  “I thought you wanted her suffering to end,” Shaltak replies. “Does she seems now as if she is suffering?”

  “I want her to be alright again,” I explain, “but not like this. What I did was terrible. She can't just accept it.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it's not right!” I shout. “It's not natural!”

  “Let me get this straight, Judith,” Shaltak replies. “You now want Elizabeth to be shouting and crying?”

  “I want her to react to this normally,” I continue, “so that eventually she'll get over it. Pushing it down like this, rationalizing it... She can't live like this forever.”

  “You confuse me, Judith. First you ask for one thing, and then the other.”

  “I want to have never done this at all,” I reply. “To have never done what I did to her in the forest.”

  “I cannot undo actions.”

  “I know,” I say, “but...”

  I try to work out how this can all be made better, but for a moment I can think of no solution.

  “I am enjoying experiencing these emotions with you,” Shaltak says. “Guilt. Shame. Shock. I am learning so much about how it feels to inhabit a human body. I can already tell that my time with you, Judith, is going to be very productive.”

  “Why did I do that to her?” I sob. “Even in my greatest fit of anger, I would never dream of hurting my girl, it's almost as if...”

  Pausing, I feel a rippling sense of dread rising through my chest.

  “It's almost as if I had been possessed,” I say finally, as the truth becomes clear. “Was that really me in the forest, or were you controlling me? I barely remember anything that happened, it's as if I experienced some form of mania. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before, so I am left to wonder...” I look up toward the altar. “Did you attack Elizabeth through me?”

  “I might have helped unleash your true anger,” she replies, “and I might have helped a little. It was a fun thing to experience, Judith. The rhythmic ripping sound of thorns against tender flesh, of -”

  “No!” I shout, getting to my feet as I start shaking with rage. “How dare you? I hadn't even accepted your offer at that point! How dare you take control of my body and make me do such an awful things?” There are tears in my eyes now, and I am starting to clench my fists. “Get out,” I add finally. “Get out of my body and get out of my head!”

  “We have a deal, Judith.”

  “That was before I knew what you'd made me do!” I shout. “Get out of my life!”

  She stares laughing.

  Stepping back, I feel a rising sense of panic as I realize that I have made a terrible mistake. I have allowed a creature – a demon, no less – to influence the course of my life's events, and I do not know how to extricate myself from this horror. As Shaltak's laughter continues to ring out in my mind, I finally turn and start hurrying back along the aisle, only to stop again as I see a figure standing in the archway. For a moment it is too dark for me to make the figure out, but then I take another faltering step forward and see that Father Perkins is staring at me.

  “I was just...”

  My voice trails off as I realize that I have no idea how long he has spent watching. And listening.

  “I'm sorry to have disturbed you, Father,” I continue, desperately hoping that I can keep the truth from him while I try to work out what to do. “It's late, I know that,” I stammer, stepping forward and trying to smile in an attempt to appear untroubled. “I just wanted to pray a little more than normal, that's all. I don't know about you, but sometimes the urge to pray comes into me at the most inopportune moments and...”

  Again, my voice trails off.

  Father Perkins is staring at me with an expression of shock.

  “How... How long have you been standing here?” I ask finally.

  “Who were you talking to just now?” he asks.

  I swallow hard.

  “Judith,” he continues, “that did not sound like any prayer that I have ever heard before.”

  “Father, I was merely...”

  I take a deep breath as I realize that perhaps Father Perkins can help me. I must prostrate myself before him and hope that he takes pity upon my wretched soul.

  “I have made a terrible mistake,” I continue, as tears start to fill my eyes. “I have convened with -”

  Suddenly a great pain breaks in my chest. I stumble forward and let out a loud, ringing burp, and then I drop to my knees and have to steady myself against the side of a pew. I wait as the echo of the pain recedes, but I can already feel something truly unnatural stirring in my gut.

  “I have made a mistake,” I say, my voice tight now with the anticipation of fresh pain. “Father, I need to know what can be done. I have strayed from the Lord and wandered onto the path of -”

  Again the pain rips through my body. This time I retch loudly and fall forward, and bile rushes into the back of my throat and then dribbles from my lips. I retch again, but fortunately nothing comes up, and after a moment I look up at Father Perkins as a terrible cramp starts to grow in my stomach.

  “Help me!” I gasp.

  “What have you done?” he asks.

  I reach a hand toward him.

  “Help me,” I sob. “Please...”

  “What have you done, Judith?” he says, taking a step back.

  “It's inside me,” I whimper, as the pain grows and grows. “It's my fault, I invited it in, and now it won't leave.”

  “She was right,” he says, his eyes filled with fear. “That woman who came to the church the other day told me that you were in league with a demon. I defended you, I refused to believe it could be true even though she seemed most certain.”

  “She was in league too,” I tell him. “I was stronger. It chose me. And now it wants to -”

  Suddenly the pain explodes, but this time it pushes up through my body with such force that I inadvertently stumble to my feet and take a few steps forward. I rest again against another pew, but I already know that the pain is twisting and roiling in anticipation of another surge.

  “I beg you to help me,” I gasp, “and -”

  Before I can finish,
I start laughing. I do not know where the laughter comes from, but it fills my body with wave after wave. I try to cry out as the sensation burns through my agonized belly, but the laughter is too strong and finally I stumble toward Father Perkins while reaching out to him for help. He backs away, as if he is terrified of my touch, and finally he reaches the corridor and I stop to steady myself in the archway.

  “Judith,” he says cautiously, “I need to know exactly what you have done.”

  “I have sinned!” I scream, shocking myself. That was my voice, but there was something else in there, something much stronger and darker, as if my voice and Shaltak's spoke as one.

  Father Perkins takes another step back, and it's clear that he noticed the change.

  “Is that what you want to hear?” I snarl, as I feel my lips curling to form a smile despite the pain in my gut. “The Lord didn't answer me, so I found someone who would. At least Shaltak's not a fucking disgrace. At least Shaltak cares enough to do something!”

  “Judith...”

  “That wasn't me!” I blurt out, and now my voice is back to normal, albeit wracked with fear. “I swear, Father, that was the demon speaking through me.”

  “This isn't possible,” he replies. “Judith Prendergast is a good woman and -”

  “I am a good woman!” I splutter, before feeling my face twist into a fresh smile. “Do you want to go through to your bedroom,” Shaltak asks through me, “and I'll show you just how good I can be?”

  “In the name of the Lord -”

  Suddenly the laughter explodes once again from my body, shaking me so hard that I almost fall to the floor. I manage to steady myself, but now the laughter is getting stronger and stronger and I fear that I shall be shaken apart. I am laughing so much, my stomach feels as if it might soon be ripped apart, and finally I turn and start stumbling toward the main door. Somehow I feel as if the laughter is directed specifically at Father Perkins, and that the pain might be eased a little if I can just get out of the church.

  “Judith,” he says behind me, “you must pray to the Lord for salvation.”

  “Leave me alone,” I whisper, struggling to get the door open.

  “It is your only hope,” he continues. “You must beg the Lord -”

  “Go to Hell!” I scream, turning to him. “Go wash your filthy hands in a muddy river, Father,” I continue, and now I can tell that Shaltak is once again speaking through me. “What twists of logic keep a holy man in a place like this, while a war rages? Are you a coward, Father? Are you content for the young and the strong and the poor to go and fight for what you believe in, while you yourself hide here in comfort?”

  “I do more good here,” he stammers, clearly shocked. “I look after the people of -”

  “These people don't need you!” I snarl. “They don't need anything! They're pathetic imbeciles and their lives will rumble along with or without a priest! Don't you think you'd be of more use out there, helping the soldiers? Deep down you know that I'm right. Fancy that, Father. A demon tells you a greater truth than your Lord will ever reveal to you. You prefer his soothing lies to the cold, hard reality.”

  He stares at me, and I can see that these words have shocked him to his core.

  “Get back to your groveling, spineless prayers,” my voice continues. “It's fine. I'm sure you'll still be able to convince yourself that you're doing the right thing. After all, I'm just a demon, aren't I? I couldn't possible be right about anything.”

  With that, I turn and stumble out into the cold night air. I can feel Shaltak in my thoughts, but at least I'm back in control of my own body. And as I run across the cemetery, I know that only one thing matters now. I have to find my darling Elizabeth.

  ***

  “Elizabeth!” I shout as soon as I'm back in the house. “Elizabeth, I have to talk to you!”

  I hurry through to the living room, then to the kitchen, and then I go over and stop at the foot of the stairs.

  “Elizabeth, come down here!” I cry. “Hurry!”

  I wait, but I don't hear her, so I make my way up the stairs and then I barge into her room, only to find that she's not here either. I turn to hurry back out, but at the last moment I spot what looks like a note on her desk, so I walk over and pick the piece of paper up, only to find that it contains a brief message:

  I know what you did,

  but I also know why you did it.

  I'm wicked.

  I'm going to go and become a better person.

  I'll come back when I'm good.

  I love you, Mummy.

  The handwriting is messy and barely legible, as if it was written by someone in pain. I barely even recognize it as Elizabeth's writing at all, but slowly I begin to realize that perhaps she was struggling when she wrote this message. It's the same writing, more or less, as the note that was delivered to the church. I had assumed that was written by Prue, but evidently Elizabeth was already trying hard to deal with what happened in the forest.

  “Where are you?” I whisper, suddenly panicking at the thought of my girl having run away from home.

  Dropping the note, I start checking Elizabeth's cupboards and drawers, and I quickly find that she has taken some of her clothes. Her bag is missing, too, and it's clear that she has headed off into the night with the intention of not coming back for a while. I race back down the stairs and out of the cottage, and then I stop in the lane as I realize that I have no idea which way she might have gone. She has no family around here and no real friends, she has no-one at all. There's the man she met in the forest, but I doubt she'd turn to him when she knows she was wrong to see him in the first place, so I can only assume that she has struck off alone.

  Finally, realizing that I have to start somewhere, I hurry along the lane and make my way out of the village, stumbling slightly as I head toward the pitch-black forest.

  By the time I reach the tree-line, my sense of panic has multiplied massively and I keep imagining the worst possible things happening to her out here.

  “Elizabeth!” I scream, cupping my hands around my mouth. “Come back!”

  I bump against a tree. It's so dark here, I can barely see a thing. Elizabeth could be ten feet away and I might not spot her, so I stop and listen.

  All I hear is a faint rustle of the wind in the leave high above.

  “Elizabeth!” I shout again. “You have to come home!”

  I stumble on, bumping against another tree every few seconds desperately trying to find my way through the forest. I'm already lost, and I can only pray that the Lord will help me find my daughter in her hour of need.

  “What are you doing, Judith?” Shaltak's voice asks in my head.

  “This is your fault!” I snap.

  “Is it? You're her mother, Judith. At the end of the day, isn't it your fault that she's in this mess?”

  “I'm going to find her and bring her home,” I reply, before bumping against another tree and then hurrying forward into the darkness. “She's a good strong, smart girl. I just need to find her.”

  “If she's strong and smart,” Shaltak replies, “maybe she's better off without you.”

  “Of course she isn't,” I reply, “she's -”

  And then I stop in my tracks, shivering in the cold, as I realize that perhaps Shaltak is right. I think back to that day in the forest when I committed an unspeakable act, when I savaged my darling daughter, and I realize that I cannot be sure something like that would not happen again. While I have this demon in my soul, perhaps it is better that Elizabeth is away from me. I worry about her being lost and alone in the world, but she is resourceful and I am quickly able to convince myself that she will be able to get by. Yes, there will be dangers, but at least she will not be around me for a while. Perhaps I, ultimately, am the greatest danger of all.

  Standing all alone in the darkness, I feel tears running down my face as I realize that – for now – I must let her go.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Ms. Prendergast,” Father
Perkins says sternly, standing in the doorway, “I am sorry, but I am going to have to ask you to leave this place and to never return.”

  As I look out the window at the cold light of dawn, I can just about see Father Perkins' reflection in the glass. I hesitate for a moment, before turning to see that there is genuine fear in his eyes. And then, just as I am about to tell him that we can move past what happened, I see that he is holding a crucifix in his right hand, as if he intends to use it as protection against me.

  I take a step toward him.

  He immediately raises the crucifix.

  “Are you scared of me?” I ask.

  “I am scared of what you have become,” he replies, his voice trembling slightly with fear. “You were a good woman when I first met you, Judith, but something changed. I'm almost afraid to know exactly how this evil took root in your heart, but I have seen its face and I am in no doubt that it is real.”

  “And what do you think it is?” I ask.

  “I do not want to say. Not here. Not now.”

  “I need your help,” I tell him. “I know that I have this demon in my soul, and I can't get it out. I have allowed myself to become corrupted, Father Perkins. I never intended for any of this to happen. Inch by inch, every decision that I took was supposed to be for the common good. Yet somehow I didn't notice, until it was too late, that I had invited pure evil into my heart.” I take another step toward him. “Please, you must know how to -”

  “Stop!” he shouts, raising the crucifix a little higher.

  “You must know how to end this,” I continue. “I am not a bad person, I don't want this evil to dwell in my body, but I have no idea how to cast it out. If faith alone were enough, the demon would surely be gone by now. If prayers could drive it out, then I would have worn my knees to the bone.” There are tears in my eyes now, and I know that Father Perkins is the only person who can help me. “The situation cannot be hopeless. I know there is a way to save me.”